We gave Mrs Matilda M Wheelbarrow of Slough two suspected international terrorists. One we washed in ordinary washing powder - like Whizzo or some other crap like that - the other we washed in New Improved God...

And the difference was astonishing!

The one we washed in ordinary washing powder was still a dangerous, death-dealing maniac, but the one we washed in New Improved God had stuck flowers in his hair and was singing 'Give Peace a Chance'.

Next we tried the doorstep challenge, in which we hit each of our terrorists with a doorstep to see which one would get the most annoyed about it. It was close, but New Improved God came out on top.

And Mrs Wheelbarrow is delighted ...

"From now on" she tells us, "I'll be washing all of my suspected international terrorists in New Improved God, and not Whizzo or some other crap like that."

New Improved God