Ofsted inspectors have given Shepton Bassett Academy a glowing report following the recent furore caused by the head teacher's decision to send 99.99% of her pupils home for not turning up in the proper uniform.

"It's vitally important for their health, wellbeing and future prospects that students attend school in exactly the right shade of grey," said headmistress Mrs Brenda Chalk, who also happens to be sister-in-law to the owner of the only shop in the area that stocks the correct uniform. At the time her comments were met with calls for her dismissal by a handful of deluded parents who mistakenly believed that Mrs Chalk had been employed to provide their children with an education, rather than fashion advice.

However, Ofsted's highly favourable report has vindicated Mrs Chalk's tough stance. When inspectors visited the school last march they got the chance to see for themselves how its one remaining pupil was performing and they were mightily impressed.

Taken from The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2018

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