It has recently come to light that the Alps are badly in need of repair, and controversy is currently raging about who is going to foot the bill.

The much-loved European mountain range was constructed over 500 million years ago, and came with a lifetime guarantee. However, the company that built it went into liquidation in 1977, and after many years of erosion, climbing and skiing, the range urgently needs repointing.

Its current owner, Mr Ferdinand Ingersol of Bern, has appealed to the European Union for a grant to carry out the repairs, but if his application is not successful he will be forced to sell the mountain range to Disney, who plan to tear it down and replace it with a fully-heated fibreglass replica.