Beans

Nail-It - Your complete security solution

Clyde Barrow, 46, claims that he can eat baked beans without first opening the tin.

He has performed this feat in front of spellbound audiences at fetes and shows across his native Lancashire, and as yet none of his critics has been able to deduce how the trick is done.

Nevertheless, all is not well with Mr Barrow, who now finds himself banned from all but one of his local supermarkets, following a spate of unaccountable bean thefts. No evidence has been forthcoming to place Mr Barrow at the scene of these crimes, but the fact that so many empty bean tins have been found, with no sign of forced entry, means that there is enough circumstantial evidence to make him the number one suspect.

We are reminded of a similar case from a few years back in which 35 year old Brian Clinton of Barrow-in-Furness claimed he was able to open tins without eating baked beans. Needless to say, this somewhat less than remarkable talent did not immediately catapult him to fame and fortune.

 

Return to Archive 2

The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2018 The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

InstagramFacebookTwitter
Promo Image

Scientist Discovers Square Root of Green

Turns out that it's a slightly pallid shade of yellow.

Promo Image

Getaway

Getaway driver seeks robbery.

Promo Image

Office Safety

Maisy Donnington tells us how to sit on a chair.

Promo Image

Splitting the Crotchet

The anatomy of a jazz particle

Promo Image

Venusian Elbow

Image of Elbow captured on Venus

Promo Image

Mind Your Wind

The enemy is listening for your flatulence. Watch your emissions.

 

Extreme DinosaursTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Latest blog entries...

21 March 2019: Splosh

19 March 2019: Man Shreds Birth Certificate, Ceases to Exist

18 March 2019: CGI