M773-R JOINT STRIKE CARROT

The cutting edge of vegetable warfare


Developed for use by both the Navy and Airforce, the Joint Strike Carrot represents the very latest in high-performance, computer co-ordinated military vegetables.  With an effective range of 600 nautical miles and a sell-by date of a week next Tuesday, the Joint Strike Carrot looks like it will become an important milestone in the development of 21st century airborne groceries.

Turnip in cockpit Parachuting turnip



Piloted by highly trained RAF paraturnips. These can be dropped silently behind enemy lines and sneak into hostile encampments by cleverly disguising themselves as some other, more innocent vegetable - such as a radish, beetroot or weasel*.  Once inside, they can easily wipe out a whole platoon using a combination of biting, strangulation and advanced karate. Nasty.

A joint strike carrot
Courgette missile



The Joint Strike Carrot comes fitted with two wing-mounted high-explosive courgettes, which the makers claim are capable of accurately striking an averaged sized dinner from a distance of 500 miles, without even splashing the gravy.  It doesn't sound that impressive, but when you consider that we're basically talking about a couple of overgrown gherkins, you begin to recognise the true significance Courgetteof the advances that have been made in the face of such overwhelming odds.

*Please note, the weasel is not technically a vegetable, although they can give you a nasty nip when roused, and when cornered are easily as dangerous as a cauliflower or leek.

Return to Teaching Carrots to Fly

 

Return to Archive 2

The Annual 2018

FREE!

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2018

Download PDF Version

Read online

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

Promo Image

Teleportation Breakthrough

Experiments have limited success.

Promo Image

An Interesting Article About Shark Fishing

Twenty thousand sharks a week pass over Mr Pong's farm

Promo Image

Medieval Castles

Mr Chokice has noted that the main entrance is only protected by a turnstile.

Promo Image

Astralguard

Insurance for Astral Travellers.

Promo Image

What Do Your Keys Say About You?

Madame Fifi LaTour reveals all

Promo Image

Cold Fusion Sandwiches

A breakthrough for nuclear powered lunches

 

Teaching Carrots to FlyTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Latest blog entries...

22 December 2017: How to Look After Your Cement Mixer

21 December 2017: Evening Classes at The University of the Bleeding Obvious

20 December 2017: A Ding-Dong over Duvets