In 1972, an unemployed sheep botherer called Gary H Merton had a dream. He believed that one day it would be possible for pumpkins to fly. Oh, it was a wild, crazy, mad, mad fantasy, and all his friends told him he was wrong in the head. But Merton was adamant! He was determined! And, what's more, he was as mad as a fish full of Alka-Seltzer. However, it wasn't until he met the wealthy industrialist Carl Cockerill that his idea was to take off. Cockerill liked Merton. He liked his enthusiasm. He liked his dedication. More importantly, he liked his carefully worked out blueprints, so he stole the idea, made himself a small fortune and left Merton destitute and suicidal in a trailer park in New Mexico. To date, the company has sold somewhere in the region of four thousand Pumpcopters. They are used mostly in north western Canada, where that sort of thing is considered acceptable.
...for the Achievement of Outstanding Celebrity Without Really Doing Very Much
Some of the cheeses detailed may be entirely fictitious.
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