The Merton-Cockerill Pumpcopter


In 1972, an unemployed sheep botherer called Gary H Merton had a dream.  He believed that one day it would be possible for pumpkins to fly.  Oh, it was a wild, crazy, mad, mad fantasy, and all his friends told him he was wrong in the head.  But Merton was adamant!  He was determined!  And, what's more, he was as mad as a fish full of Alka-Seltzer.   However, it wasn't until he met the wealthy industrialist Carl Cockerill that his idea was to take off.  Cockerill liked Merton.  He liked his enthusiasm.   He liked his dedication.  More importantly, he liked his carefully worked out blueprints, so he stole the idea, made himself a small fortune and left Merton destitute and suicidal in a trailer park in New Mexico.  To date, the company has sold somewhere in the region of four thousand Pumpcopters.  They are used mostly in north western Canada, where that sort of thing is considered acceptable.

Return to Teaching Carrots to Fly

Return to Archive 2

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2015The UBO Annual 2016The History of RockThe Bongo LecturesKicking and ScreamingDead PeasantsRecalled to LifeUBO Volume 1UBO Volume 2Death Doom and DisasterGoldilocks and the Free Bears

Find out more...



Promo Image

Not Funny

Jez Moonbeam discovers the joke particle

Promo Image

Arty Tomatoes

Guy Parker takes you for a ride

Promo Image

What Do Your Keys Say About You?

Madame Fifi LaTour reveals all

Promo Image


Prof Jim Spanners explains chaos theory

Promo Image


An inflated slug is a happy slug

Promo Image

Mathew Sandblaster-Trogg

Mathew Sandblaster-Trogg has not stopped bouncing since 1972


Standard British NunsTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs


Latest blog entries...

30 September 2016: Rare Bird Visits Derbyshire Town

17 August 2016: Dash for Glory

12 August 2016: Carly Simon