The Chief Chip-Eater of Old Wrexham Town

chips

 

When 68 year old Bert Eggs retires from his post as Chief Chip-eater, the city of Wrexham is going to find it's got a bit of a problem on its hands. There has been a chip-eater in Wrexham for the last three hundred years - indeed, the position has been in Bert's family for the last five generations. Without his efforts, and those of his predecessors, Wrexham's chip population would have spiralled out of control, and the city would have been inundated by chips long ago.

Since he first took over from his father in 1955, Bert has ventured out each morning, come rain or come shine, with his knife and fork in hand, keeping the streets chip-free for normal folk. But age and ulcers have finally caught up with Bert, and when he finally turns in his salt and vinegar next month there will be no one to take over from him. He has no offspring to carry on the family tradition, and despite advertising the position heavily, Wrexham City Council have still been unable to find a replacement.

"I can't understand it," said councillor Martin Stamford. "We're offering a very attractive package, including a healthy bread and butter allowance, plus double gravy for Bank Holidays. It really is a lifetime opportunity for the right candidate. Ideally we're looking for a fat bastard with a heart condition, but at this stage we're willing to consider anybody."

 

Return to Archive 2

The Annual 2017

FREE Download

Or read it online here.

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2015The UBO Annual 2016The History of RockThe Bongo LecturesKicking and ScreamingDead PeasantsRecalled to LifeUBO Volume 1UBO Volume 2Death Doom and DisasterGoldilocks and the Free Bears

Find out more...


 

 

Promo Image

Linguiniphone

Learn to speak fluent Pasta.

Promo Image

Factor88

Reverse the 412 signs of aging

Promo Image

Hollywood Sandwiches

Sarnies of the rich and famous

Promo Image

The First Annual Bleeding Obvious Award...

...for the Achievement of Outstanding Celebrity Without Really Doing Very Much

Promo Image

The Thoroughfare of Success

by Dick Smidgin (BA) - Motivational Keynote Speaker

 

Extreme DinosaursTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Latest blog entries...

07 June 2017: A Sustained Corporate Battering

09 May 2017: Takeaways Hit by Persistent Squirrel Abuse

21 March 2017: Hypnotic Wipes to Tackle Information Leakage

www.bleeding-obvious.co.uk