Drum and Bass

Scientists conducting special experimental discos have concluded that drum and bass music is rubbish.

The discos took place under strict laboratory conditions and all the attendees were sterilised to avoid contamination. However, despite the introduction of copious amounts of alcohol, none of the experimenters managed to get off with anybody.

They are currently attempting to devise new forms of music based on more effective combinations of musical instruments. Piano and banjo music has already proved to be something a letdown. The trumpet and xylophone pairing showed promise at first, but ultimately failed. Meanwhile, against all expectations, penny whistle and maracas tunes have been going down a storm at carefully monitored raves in Ibiza.

Drum and Bass

 

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We wouldn't expect pilchards to be able to do calculus
A full range of snacks
Eradicate the Misery of Pixies
Twenty thousand sharks a week pass over Mr Pong's farm
Classic horror movie remastered
Blurring the border between art and chips
Nobody actually reads these books
New dice for fatalists.
Our hirsute neighbour in space
Come to the land where the dishwashers roam free

 

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