Scientists conducting special experimental discos have concluded that drum and bass music is rubbish. The discos took place under strict laboratory conditions and all the attendees were sterilised to avoid contamination. However, despite the introduction of copious amounts of alcohol, none of the experimenters managed to get off with anybody.
They are currently attempting to devise new forms of music based on more effective combinations of musical instruments. Piano and banjo music has already proved to be something a letdown. The trumpet and xylophone pairing showed promise at first, but ultimately failed. Meanwhile, against all expectations, penny whistle and maracas tunes have been going down a storm at carefully monitored raves in Ibiza.
No. 128: Chinese Shelves.
Prof Jim Spanners explains chaos theory
Feral Sausages and malignant pork pies.
Maisy Donnington is your guide to the wonderful world of cheese
Traditional Oompah music under threat.
21 March 2017: Hypnotic Wipes to Tackle Information Leakage
16 March 2017: Space Junk
14 March 2017: Ladder Ordeal Enters Sixteenth Hour