Professor Zarko Whoopsie of the Blue Note Rooms, Spitalfields, has recently unveiled his intention to explore the galaxy in a jazz powered rocket, seeking out new life forms and spreading the message of jazz to the universe.
"Man, this is going to be so cool," he crooned when we interviewed him recently. "This rocket is gonna cruise up into the sky on a rainbow of pure jazz. It's gonna be beautiful. We're gonna use the international language of jazz to reach out to the sky people; we're gonna be one people united in the rhythms of the cosmos. Bebop starchildren, yeah!"
Professor Zarko is not embarking on this mission alone. He has the support of a talented and pioneering group of jazz musicians. "There's me on trumpet," he told us. "Then there's the great Charlie 'Silkfingers' Kruger on piano, Geoff the powder monkey and his magic trombone, and Slick Pallooka on bongos. Slick is just the coolest person in the universe man. It's gonna be great."
But it's early days yet. Professor Zarko has yet to finalise the designs for his rocket, something which he has so far been extremely relaxed about. Nevertheless, even though progress is slow, he remains optimistic about the whole project. After all, this isn't the first time he has embarked on an expedition like this.
"Oh no, man, this rocket thing is gonna be a breeze for seasoned jazz adventurers like us," he explained. "We once went to Llandudno in a camper van. Dude, it was wild."