Celebrity Pizza Therapy

star pizza

The latest craze for the high-flying, celebrated and self-important elite is pizza therapy.

It's inventor, Emo Ravioli, once owned a thriving pizza restaurant in Hollywood. Now he makes a fortune tending to the pizzas of the rich and famous, and Hollywood's 'A list' are happy to pay him anything up to $10,000 for a session.

Happiness is only a pineapple chunk away

By inspecting a celebrity's favourite pizza, and carefully examining the condition of the peppers or the sweetcorn, Ravioli claims he has a window into the troubled star's soul.

Often he can help just by suggesting an alternative topping. Sometimes happiness is only a pineapple chunk away. At other times more radical treatment is necessary and Emo is required to adopt a 'hands on' approach - manipulating anchovies or stroking mushrooms in order to restore the perfect pizza balance.

Not everyone is impressed

However, not everyone is impressed by his work. One Hollywood starlet, who shall remain nameless, is currently seeking damages against Ravioli, claiming that during one session last October he took advantage of his position of trust and manhandled her pepperoni.

 

 

Return to Archive 2

The Annual 2018

FREE!

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2018

Download PDF Version

Read online

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

Promo Image

Alps

Mountain range requires repointing.

Promo Image

Hollywood Sandwiches

Sarnies of the rich and famous

Promo Image

Rod 'n' Enya's Rock 'n' Roll Mysteries

Quick Rod Stewart and Enya...

Promo Image

Nasal Hair Loss

Eradicate the shame of thinning nose hair

Promo Image

New Horizons in Business Management

Case study #523: Parker Stropp (UK) Ltd

Promo Image

The Delusion of J Henry Proudfoot

J Henry Proudfoot looks up from his muddy trench...

 

Teaching Carrots to FlyTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Latest blog entries...

22 December 2017: How to Look After Your Cement Mixer

21 December 2017: Evening Classes at The University of the Bleeding Obvious

20 December 2017: A Ding-Dong over Duvets