Police Crackdown on Agricultural Raves

Funky Cow

This is really irritating, isn't it?

 

Farmers are calling for stricter laws after an increase in the number of illegal raves being held on farmland in Southern England.

"The police don't seem to want to do anything about it," said landowner Dick Silage. "They don't seem to realise the damage it does. There's loud music going on till the early hours of the morning - me and the wife can't get a wink of sleep, so God knows what effect it's having on the livestock.

Jigging about till dawn

"Well I can't have my cows jigging about till dawn and popping 'E's every five minutes, now can I? And the sheep just haven't got the constitution for that kind of lifestyle. It has hit my egg production really hard - the hens can't be bothered to lay, 'cause they're up partying all night."

Chief Inspector Dan Pancake defended the police force's position and claimed that they were doing everything in their power to track down the organisers.

"We believe it's a gang of pigs from the city," he said. "We can't say very much at the moment, but we're following up a number of promising leads, and we're currently interviewing Mixmaster Porky Slicktrotter about his role in a spate of raves in Oxfordshire."

 

Return to Archive 2

The Annual 2018

FREE!

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2018

Download PDF Version

Read online

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

Promo Image

Exploding Dinners

From the good people at Funmeals.

Promo Image

Alps

Mountain range requires repointing.

Promo Image

Scientists predict the world will run out of apostrophes.

And we're running short of hyphens as well.

Promo Image

Oven Chimps

Tasty and nutritious!

Promo Image

Traffic Watch

The latest local information

 

Standard British NunsTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Latest blog entries...

22 December 2017: How to Look After Your Cement Mixer

21 December 2017: Evening Classes at The University of the Bleeding Obvious

20 December 2017: A Ding-Dong over Duvets