Tuesdays

Mrs Alice Sideways' Campaign for the Abolition of Tuesdays is gathering pace, especially now that her pressure group has gained the support of backbench Labour MP, the Right Honourable Kenneth Trolley.

"I've never been particularly fond of Tuesdays, and I don't think I've ever made a secret of that," said Mr Trolley at a recent press conference. "In fact, back in 1984 I was part of a commission set up to look into the possibility of trimming the day down to a more manageable nineteen and a half hours. I was particularly keen to lose a couple of hours in the late afternoon, and public reaction at the time indicated that we could also have cut the period between 7.30 and 8 o'clock in the evening without meeting too much opposition. In the event, the proposal came to nothing as it was deemed that the whole thing would be too expensive."

Nevertheless, the project has never really gone away, and has its supporters in all levels of government. It's generally agreed that the removal of Tuesday would go a long way towards streamlining the whole week, and there are even a few members of the current cabinet who are in favour of tearing a chunk out of Wednesday as well. The only obstacle has been the cost, but help may be just across the Channel. There is hope that an Anglo-French attempt at shortening the week would spread the cost and thus make the whole thing more feasible.

"Let's hope it's a success, and the sooner the better!" says Mr Trolley. "Personally, I find stupid bloody Tuesdays dull, objectionable and smelly, and I for one can't wait until it's had its day."

 

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