Bristletech Industries
- Ten years of quality whiskers -

Choose from our extensive range of shapes, colours and textures.
Below is just a small selection of our most popular lines.

 

beard

Order Number: 944-5L
The Faceplug 9000

The Faceplug fits snugly over the mouth and chin forming a water-tight bond. Very popular with divers.

beard

Order Number: 15-6B/A
The Chincreeper

Excellent for concealing a variety of foodstuffs, small animals and other items of a personal nature.

beard

Order Number: 004-QE
Waterfall

Designed by celebrated sculptor Darius Quimm to mark the Queen's Golden Jubilee. Her Majesty has actually been presented with a specially engraved edition, and plans to wear it at next year's State Opening of Parliament.

beard

Order Number: 10944
Classic Square Cut

Based on designs passed down from father to son since the Middle Ages. Available in several different flavours, including peppermint, strawberry and cheese & onion.

beard

Order Number: 952-1R
Mysterio

Who knows what dark intent lies behind this extraordinary beard? Danger, intrigue, excitement - it's all there. That's the magic of Mysterio...

beard

Order Number: 825-1L/H
Butch

Rough, rugged and built to last. This is a real beard for a real man. Oh no, there's nothing even remotely camp about this, no sir. Also available in mauve.

beard

Order Number: 95-KL
Aerofoil

Designed by qualified aircraft designers, this beard and moustache combo has been known to reach speeds of up to 250 mph under test conditions. Not recommended for children under 12.

beard

Order Number: 555-BB
Gordon's Alive!

The ultimate in luxury face furniture. You cannot fail to impress when you turn up to the latest swanky party sporting this little number. First attack wave, deiiiiiive!

 

Quality beards for every occasion!

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The Annual 2018

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Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

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Toaster Suicide

Death by appliance.

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Exploding Trousers

Guaranteed flameproof

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The Museum of Found Noises

Parp Clang Twang Wubble-Wubble-Wubble-Wubble.

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Scientist Discovers Square Root of Green

Turns out that it's a slightly pallid shade of yellow.

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Scientists predict the world will run out of apostrophes.

And we're running short of hyphens as well.

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Cable Rot

Experts have identified computer virus that can lie dormant in Ethernet cables.

 

Standard British NunsTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

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