Perfect Circle

circle

Dr Gaseous Ballcock of the Huddersfield Academy of Performing Seals claims to have developed what he calls the world's first 'perfect circle'.

This, he explains is a circle in which the ratio of the diameter to the circumference can be expressed as a whole number.

Circumference

"I wanted to invent a circle in which you could simply multiply the diameter by four in order to find the circumference," Dr Ballcock explained. "This does away with all that nasty 'pi' business, which I could never really get a handle on anyway. I don't wish to blow my own trumpet, but I think my circle is a vast improvement over the old model."

Dr Ballcock kicked off his career in experimental geometry with an ambitious attempt to flatten triangles to make them more user-friendly, an endeavour in which he failed spectacularly. Undeterred, he later enjoyed some success with a project to round off hexagons, and was a valuable member of the international team put together to stretch dodecahedrons.

Profound repercussions

His new work on circles will have profound repercussions in a number of important areas, most notably engineering, rocketry and plumbing. But Dr Ballcock himself is far more excited about a quite different application.

"It's going to completely change the way we look at doughnuts," he told us animatedly. "They're going to be bigger, fatter and have more jam in them. Personally, I can't wait."

 

Return to Archive 3

InstagramFacebookTwitter
Misaligned caster causes pile up.
The only beauty product that will send your skin back in time.
'Team bonding, goal setting, table top brainstorming.'
Vote British Gas!
Rogue nuts
Over 600 designs available by post
Sir Christian Pyle shows us his nuts
The origins of a classic Sci-fi franchise
Traditional pastry
Squawk squawk squawk squawk squawk squawk.

 

Standard British NunsTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Latest blog entries...

17 May 2022: The Sandwich: #338

16 May 2022: The Sandwich: #337

15 May 2022: The Sandwich: #336

www.bleeding-obvious.co.uk
Copyright ©