Perfect Circle

circle

Dr Gaseous Ballcock of the Huddersfield Academy of Performing Seals claims to have developed what he calls the world's first 'perfect circle'.

This, he explains is a circle in which the ratio of the diameter to the circumference can be expressed as a whole number.

Circumference

"I wanted to invent a circle in which you could simply multiply the diameter by four in order to find the circumference," Dr Ballcock explained. "This does away with all that nasty 'pi' business, which I could never really get a handle on anyway. I don't wish to blow my own trumpet, but I think my circle is a vast improvement over the old model."

Dr Ballcock kicked off his career in experimental geometry with an ambitious attempt to flatten triangles to make them more user-friendly, an endeavour in which he failed spectacularly. Undeterred, he later enjoyed some success with a project to round off hexagons, and was a valuable member of the international team put together to stretch dodecahedrons.

Profound repercussions

His new work on circles will have profound repercussions in a number of important areas, most notably engineering, rocketry and plumbing. But Dr Ballcock himself is far more excited about a quite different application.

"It's going to completely change the way we look at doughnuts," he told us animatedly. "They're going to be bigger, fatter and have more jam in them. Personally, I can't wait."

 

Return to Archive 3

The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2018 The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

InstagramFacebookTwitter
Promo Image

buglers

Man bugled due to typing error.

Promo Image

Pest Control

Mrs Whitney has tigers behind her shed.

Promo Image

Wanted: Chip-Eater

Wrexham seeks Chip Control Warden.

Promo Image

Exploding Trousers

Guaranteed flameproof

Promo Image

Legion of Ultramen

Y'know, wouldn't it be just awesome to be able to fly, or be invisible or have like superpower x-ray vision, or something?

Promo Image

Whip-it-Round Delivery Services

Compensation! I'd feel exactly the same way in your situation...

 

Standard British NunsTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Latest blog entries...

28 August 2019: Moggy Gone

31 July 2019: Glen Twerk is not at Work

24 July 2019: Goths in Gardens

www.bleeding-obvious.co.uk
Copyright ©