Concerns Grow for Missing Ladder Astronaut

 

space ladder

 

Disaster has hit Britain's troubled space program with the loss of astronaut Brian Parker. Operation Space Ladder was Britain's ambitious project to put a man in orbit using a 252,000 mile long aluminium ladder, propped up against the moon. If successful, the plan would have completely revolutionised the future of space travel, slashing fuel costs and rendering extensive heat shielding redundant. Furthermore, the Space Ladder would drastically reduce the stresses and strains on the astronauts, as - unless he was climbing really fast - the g-force would be negligible.

Brian Parker was specially selected for the mission because of his exceptionally powerful thighs and superb head for heights. He began climbing at 13.45 GMT last Tuesday, but Mission Control lost contact with him early yesterday morning. Parker's colleague, Danny Fellows (whose job it is to hold the bottom of the ladder steady) is confident that contact will be re-established. "I don't think he's fallen off," he says optimistically. "If that were the case he'd have hit the ground by now. The last time I spoke to him over the radio he seemed very confident and in good spirits. There was certainly no indication of any trouble. In fact, his last words to me were, 'Hey, I can see my house from here.'"

 

Return to Archive 3

The Annual 2017

FREE Download

Or read it online here.

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2015The UBO Annual 2016The History of RockThe Bongo LecturesKicking and ScreamingDead PeasantsRecalled to LifeUBO Volume 1UBO Volume 2Death Doom and DisasterGoldilocks and the Free Bears

Find out more...


 

 

Promo Image

Mail Order Tattoos

Over 600 designs available by post

Promo Image

Beans

Eating beans without opening the tin.

Promo Image

Drum and Bass

Experimental discos...

Promo Image

Mathew Sandblaster-Trogg

Mathew Sandblaster-Trogg has not stopped bouncing since 1972

Promo Image

Inside the Nun Factory

The inner workings of nun manufacture

Promo Image

Support a Helpless Pirate

Could you spare just three doubloons a day?

 

Teaching Carrots to FlyTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Latest blog entries...

09 May 2017: Takeaways Hit by Persistent Squirrel Abuse

21 March 2017: Hypnotic Wipes to Tackle Information Leakage

16 March 2017: Space Junk

www.bleeding-obvious.co.uk