McDonald's opens new branch in the Atlantic

Radical new developments in marine research have allowed giant burger chain McDonalds to open up its latest branch in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. Scientists at their top secret research labs in Mexico have perfected a technique of successfully waterproofing Big Macs, allowing the popular burgers to be eaten at depths of up to ten fathoms without any loss of flavour.

Experiments were first carried out in the late seventies, but were abandoned when researchers were unable to prevent mayonnaise bleeding into the surrounding seawater. However, recent advances in bun technology have now made it possible to precisely machine the burgers so that the two halves form a watertight seal. This has also solved the problem of gherkins escaping and floating to the surface - admittedly no great loss in terms of burger flavour, but of great concern to environmentalists worried about possible gherkin slicks.

So far, business has been slow for McDonald's mid-Atlantic branch, but manager Christian Pyle isn't too worried. "The problem is there isn't much passing trade - just cruise ships, fishing boats and the occasional diver wanting directions to the Titanic. But it's early days yet - I'm sure things will pick up once word gets around," he mumbled incoherently through a snorkel.

 

McDonald's opens new branch in the Atlantic

 

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