Belicose Pork

The High Court has placed an injunction on bio-engineering firm Piggytech Ltd. to prevent them from genetically engineering pork pies for breeding purposes. The move is a temporary measure, pending a full investigation into the company's activities.

Piggytech supplies meat to a number of companies, including Uncle Bertie's Meat Pies and Giblet and Son's Reconstituted Ready Meals. The injunction follows complaints that Piggytech's scientists have been pumping sausage rolls full of testosterone to make them more aggressive. A number of people have already claimed to have been attacked by suspect products whilst doing their weekly shop, and there are reports that several tins of cocktail sausages have escaped from a supermarket in Arbroath and have turned feral.

A spokesman for the company has tried to reassure the public, claiming that everything the company does is ultimately in the interests of the consumer. However, many people who attended a recent press conference were rather less reassured by the fact that Piggytech's spokesman appeared to be made entirely out of pork scratchings.

 

Pie Poster

 

Return to Archive 3

The Annual 2017

FREE Download

Or read it online here.

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2015The UBO Annual 2016The History of RockThe Bongo LecturesKicking and ScreamingDead PeasantsRecalled to LifeUBO Volume 1UBO Volume 2Death Doom and DisasterGoldilocks and the Free Bears

Find out more...


 

 

Promo Image

Blood Donors

Post your blood now.

Promo Image

Professional Scarer

Interesting Jobs No 419

Promo Image

Nasal Hair Loss

Eradicate the shame of thinning nose hair

Promo Image

Emergency Kebabs

Acclaim for new venture.

Promo Image

Squeak Off

At last a cure for squeaky shoes

Promo Image

Exploding Trousers

Guaranteed flameproof

 

Standard British NunsTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Latest blog entries...

21 March 2017: Hypnotic Wipes to Tackle Information Leakage

16 March 2017: Space Junk

14 March 2017: Ladder Ordeal Enters Sixteenth Hour

www.bleeding-obvious.co.uk