Technically speaking, is the strawberry a fruit or an animal?

The question has perplexed scientists for years, but it looks like we may soon have an answer at last. Undergraduates in Edinburgh have been conducting a number of experiments, including tempting them with bits of cheese, interrogating them harshly and giving them money so that they can go out shopping.

According to accepted theories of biology, if the strawberries show no response to any of these tests it will be safe to assume that they are fruits. So far the team is unwilling to draw any conclusions, but the results are being eagerly anticipated, not least because of the possible repercussions for raspberries and pomegranates.