Young Waiter of the Year

Paul Mayhew, 16, from Halifax is delighted to have reached the national finals of this year's Young Waiter of the Year Competition.

The competition, set up six years ago to encourage youngsters to enter the profession, is considered most prestigious within the catering trade.

Surly and ill-mannered

"Paul is a natural," says his trainer, Candice Bulwater. "Being surly and ill-mannered is something that comes very easily to him and, when called for, he can fling some pretty devastating insults. Oh, make no mistake - a gobful of abuse from young Paul certainly strikes home."

Young waiter award

Ms Bulwater is taking particular care over Paul's 'thumb technique', the delicate art of surreptitiously placing the thumb into a bowl of soup. It is important that only the very tip of the digit is submerged, as any waiter observed to be up to his knuckle in minestrone shows clumsiness and lack of control.

Spitting technique

Paul is considerably more confident about his spitting technique and he boasts about his ability to hurl phlegm into a pan of mashed potatoes with military precision. His personal best is fifteen feet, but Ms Bulwater believes he can beat this with a favourable wind.

If he succeeds it will not only be a triumph for Paul, but also a poignant moment for his trainer. Thirty years ago the young Candice was herself the proud holder of the East Riddings Amateur Gobbing Championship for three years running - before an accident with a runaway stapler destroyed her lips and brought her glittering career to a tragic end.

 

 

 

Return to Archive 3

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2020 The UBO Annual 2018 The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

InstagramFacebookTwitter
Promo Image

Metal Detecting

Sidney found something wholly unexpected - a World War II German U-boat...

Promo Image

Staff Handbook

Motivated, dedicated and gullible

Promo Image

Diagnosis

This week we look at Tourettes

Promo Image

The Delusion of J Henry Proudfoot

J Henry Proudfoot looks up from his muddy trench...

Promo Image

Highway Robbery

Have you seen these stolen roads?

Promo Image

Oompah

Traditional Oompah music under threat.

 

Standard British NunsTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Latest blog entries...

06 May 2020: Stupid Stories

10 April 2020: Sid James in Smokey and the Bandit

28 March 2020: How to be Sweary

www.bleeding-obvious.co.uk
Copyright ©