From the people who brought you Bullshit™ comes
The same great Bullshit you know and love, but now even better!
When you're a prime-time TV star, top celebrity chef and all round family entertainer, you need a product that you can trust. That's why Quentin Parp can't afford to settle for anything less than Barker's New Improved Bullshit.
"Hi there! Quentin Parp here. You know, when you're a prime-time - "
We've done that bit.
"Sorry. Well, I can't afford to settle for - "
"Oh for f... Right. Let me tell you that after spending fifty years in showbiz, I certainly know a lot about bullshit... okay?"
"Bloody fantastic... And so too do the good people at Barker's. Since 1933 they've been producing premium bullshit. It was Barker's Bullshit that helped pull a desperate nation through those austere post-war years. Their quality crap was the established market leader throughout the sixties and seventies, and a comforting reminder of traditional values in the eighties and into the nineties.
"And since the turn of the millennium it has remained as popular as ever, increasing its market share as other shit fell by the wayside. And it's packed with polyunsaturates!"
No it isn't.
"Oh fudge... And it's completely free of polyunsaturates! Year after year, housewives across the land have proclaimed Barker's Bullshit is Best! So how do you improve on perfection? Good point - how do you improve on perfection?"
Tell them about the new pack.
The new pack. Remember what we told you about the pack?
"Oh yes! So, how do you improve on perfection - by redesigning the box, of course! Barker's patent Poop Chute technology means that it's now even easier to deliver your bullshit right where you need it. At home! At school! In the fishmongers! And now it's available in cheese and onion flavour!"
No it isn't.
Instant bullshit wherever you need it.
Is the strawberry a fruit of an animal?
Learn to speak fluent Pasta.
The miracle of laser eye surgery
The church bans the wearing of sandals
Some of the cheeses detailed may be entirely fictitious.
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