From the people who brought you Bullshit™ comes

New Improved Bullshit™!

The same great Bullshit you know and love, but now even better!

"I wouldn't settle for anything less!"
says TV's Quentin Parp

When you're a prime-time TV star, top celebrity chef and all round family entertainer, you need a product that you can trust. That's why Quentin Parp can't afford to settle for anything less than Barker's New Improved Bullshit.

"Hi there! Quentin Parp here. You know, when you're a prime-time -"

We've done that bit.

"Sorry. Well, I can't afford to settle for - "

And that.

"Oh for f... Right. Let me tell you that after spending fifty years in showbiz, I certainly know a lot about bullshit... okay?"

Fine.

"Bloody fantastic... And so too do the good people at Barker's. Since 1933 they've been producing premium bullshit.

"It was Barker's Bullshit that helped pull a desperate nation through those austere post-war years. Their quality crap was the established market leader throughout the sixties and seventies, and a comforting reminder of traditional values in the eighties and into the nineties.

"And since the turn of the millennium it has remained as popular as ever, increasing its market share as other shit fell by the wayside. And it's packed with polyunsaturates!"

No it isn't.

"Oh fudge... And it's completely free of polyunsaturates! Year after year, housewives across the land have proclaimed Barker's Bullshit is Best! So how do you improve on perfection? Good point - how do you improve on perfection?"

Tell them about the new pack.

"What?"

The new pack. Remember what we told you about the pack?

"Oh yes! So, how do you improve on perfection - by redesigning the box, of course! Barker's patent Poop Chute technology means that it's now even easier to deliver your bullshit right where you need it. At home! At school! In the fishmongers! And now it's available in cheese and onion flavour!"

No it isn't.

"Aww tits."

New Improved Bullshit

Instant bullshit wherever you need it.

Return to Archive 4

www.bleeding-obvious.co.uk

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2018 The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

InstagramFacebookTwitter
Promo Image

Inside the Nun Factory

The inner workings of nun manufacture

Promo Image

Large Organ

Mr Harold Pogley of Warminster has the largest organ in the UK.

Promo Image

Strawberries

Is the strawberry a fruit of an animal?

Promo Image

Bing Crosby Boxing

Punching singers in the mouth

Promo Image

Unconventional Weapons

The role of water pistols in modern warfare

Promo Image

Roman Hole

Archaeologists disoover historic hole.

 

Extreme DinosaursTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Latest blog entries...

17 December 2019: We're Recruiting...

16 December 2019: Situations Vacant

11 December 2019: Ricky Stratocaster's Forgotten Heroes

Copyright © 2015