From the people who brought you Bullshit™ comes

New Improved Bullshit™!

The same great Bullshit you know and love, but now even better!

"I wouldn't settle for anything less!"
says TV's Quentin Parp

When you're a prime-time TV star, top celebrity chef and all round family entertainer, you need a product that you can trust. That's why Quentin Parp can't afford to settle for anything less than Barker's New Improved Bullshit.

"Hi there! Quentin Parp here. You know, when you're a prime-time - "

We've done that bit.

"Sorry. Well, I can't afford to settle for - "

And that.

"Oh for f... Right. Let me tell you that after spending fifty years in showbiz, I certainly know a lot about bullshit... okay?"

Fine.

"Bloody fantastic... And so too do the good people at Barker's. Since 1933 they've been producing premium bullshit. It was Barker's Bullshit that helped pull a desperate nation through those austere post-war years. Their quality crap was the established market leader throughout the sixties and seventies, and a comforting reminder of traditional values in the eighties and into the nineties.

"And since the turn of the millennium it has remained as popular as ever, increasing its market share as other shit fell by the wayside. And it's packed with polyunsaturates!"

No it isn't.

"Oh fudge... And it's completely free of polyunsaturates! Year after year, housewives across the land have proclaimed Barker's Bullshit is Best! So how do you improve on perfection? Good point - how do you improve on perfection?"

Tell them about the new pack.

"What?"

The new pack. Remember what we told you about the pack?

"Oh yes! So, how do you improve on perfection - by redesigning the box, of course! Barker's patent Poop Chute technology means that it's now even easier to deliver your bullshit right where you need it. At home! At school! In the fishmongers! And now it's available in cheese and onion flavour!"

No it isn't.

"Aww tits."

New Improved Bullshit

Instant bullshit wherever you need it.

Return to Archive 4

www.bleeding-obvious.co.uk
The Annual 2017

FREE Download

Or read it online here.

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2015The UBO Annual 2016The History of RockThe Bongo LecturesKicking and ScreamingDead PeasantsRecalled to LifeUBO Volume 1UBO Volume 2Death Doom and DisasterGoldilocks and the Free Bears

Find out more...


 

 

Promo Image

Strawberries

Is the strawberry a fruit of an animal?

Promo Image

Linguiniphone

Learn to speak fluent Pasta.

Promo Image

Occuloid Laserprobe

The miracle of laser eye surgery

Promo Image

Sandals

The church bans the wearing of sandals

Promo Image

Exotic Cheeses of the World

Some of the cheeses detailed may be entirely fictitious.

Promo Image

Diagnosis

This week we look at Tourettes

 

Extreme DinosaursTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Latest blog entries...

21 March 2017: Hypnotic Wipes to Tackle Information Leakage

16 March 2017: Space Junk

14 March 2017: Ladder Ordeal Enters Sixteenth Hour