Fishys

Millicent Lunge, a ladybread seller from Daventry, is spearheading a campaign to have keys put on the insides of pilchard tins, so that pilchards that aren't quite stiff-dead can let themselves out. Apparently this is a big achy headproblem for many fish, who frequently find themselves tinned alive. Poor fishys - it's so difficult to tell whether they are all sleepy-bedy or croaky-deady, so they all get jumbled up together and wake in the oily darkness in a frightful shiverpanic. Nasty time.

Scientist men say that brain death for fish is when they look all slimy-gormless, which is why so many are pronounced deceased even though they still flip flap about and squirt water in your eye. Ms Millicent says that insidey keys will end this inhuman badness and allow not-dead fishys to escape, so that they can expire with dignity in the back of your cupboard. Awwww.

She also wants zippers put on bags of prawns.

Return to Archive 4

www.bleeding-obvious.co.uk
The Annual 2017

FREE Download

Or read it online here.

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2015The UBO Annual 2016The History of RockThe Bongo LecturesKicking and ScreamingDead PeasantsRecalled to LifeUBO Volume 1UBO Volume 2Death Doom and DisasterGoldilocks and the Free Bears

Find out more...


 

 

Promo Image

Stick World

A great family day out

Promo Image

Flexi-Mortem

The credit card you can use in the afterlife.

Promo Image

Petunia Mulch - Plant Psychologist

If you've got a drooping rose bush, a sagging hydrangea or a bent tulip then Petunia Mulch can help.

Promo Image

The First Annual Bleeding Obvious Award...

...for the Achievement of Outstanding Celebrity Without Really Doing Very Much

Promo Image

Is Your Office Chair Road Legal?

Stop right there! Your furniture could soon be illegal.

Promo Image

Astralguard

Insurance for Astral Travellers.

 

Standard British NunsTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Latest blog entries...

21 March 2017: Hypnotic Wipes to Tackle Information Leakage

16 March 2017: Space Junk

14 March 2017: Ladder Ordeal Enters Sixteenth Hour