Geoff Geoffreys' Geoffoscope

Geoff Geoffreys is thrilled to announce that he has invented the Geoffoscope, a revolutionary new device capable of pinpointing the location of people called 'Geoff' down to the nearest centimetre, wherever they may be on the planet.

"For too long Geoffs have been ignored by society, cast aside and denied the opportunity to glory in their essential Geoffness," Geoff told us. "Now at last we have the means to reach out and touch Geoffs who until now may have felt isolated and alone. We can encourage them to cherish their Geoffosity with pride, and empower them to confront Geoffism wherever it may be. Together we can build a true Geoffocracy where Geoffs can at last enjoy the respect and recognition that they truly deserve."

Initial trials of Geoff's Geoffoscope have produced mixed results, with the latest test run yielding just two Barrys and a Simon. "We may still have some way to go," Geoff admitted.