Position vacant sign

Top Five Interview Tips

Attending a job interview is a stressful occasion and people can very quickly get themselves whipped up into a state of panic. But it doesn't have to be an ordeal - if you know what you're doing you can take the whole thing in your stride and make a great impression.

To help you out, we asked ace recruitment specialist Marvin Sideboard to give us his top five job interview tips.

1. Ask Questions

It is very easy to feel intimidated when you are facing a barrage of questions, so it's important to turn the tables as soon as possible. Gambits such as 'Never mind about my qualifications, let's talk about you, hot shot' and 'That's all very well questioning my reasons for wanting to work here, but be honest, you wouldn't put up with this shit if you weren't fiddling the accounts, would you?' are excellent ways of piling on the pressure, and are sure to guarantee that you get shortlisted.

2. Dress to Impress

They say that employers reach a decision within the first thirty seconds of an interview, so it pays to look the part. Of course, anybody can rock up in a suit, tie and shiny shoes, and most interviewers are wise enough not to be taken in by the ruse. But if you burst through the door dressed as your favourite superhero and punch out the head of human resources before exiting through the window, you can be certain that they're going to remember you.

3. Go Equipped

Everyone agrees that when it comes to interviews preparation is everything, but there is no real consensus on whether this extends to carrying weapons. My own feeling is that you should certainly be ready for any eventuality, although I think that packing a firearm may be going a little too far. Nevertheless, you ought to give consideration to a tyre iron, baseball bat or even a particularly stout stick to ensure that you are not left entirely defenceless if things turn nasty.

4. Keep Them Waiting

There are many occasions where it pays to be punctual - dentist's appointments, restaurant bookings, meetings with your parole officer and so on. A job interview is not one of those occasions.

It's important to build up the interviewer's levels of anticipation before you make your entrance. You want them on the edge of their seat, glancing anxiously at their watch, possibly even breaking out into spontaneous choruses of 'Why are we waiting?' Arriving on time or, heaven forfend, arriving early is bound to weaken your position and make you seem over-eager and needy.

5. Imagine Yourself Naked

In fact, don't just imagine it - do it! This is a useful technique in all sorts of situations, such as interviews, meetings and court appearances. You'll find that you will instantly loosen up and feel more relaxed. In fact, I usually find it liberating to be naked in less formal situations too, such as when I'm out shopping, driving to work or writing short but informative lists of helpful interview tips. Oh yeah, feels good...

Return to Archive 4

The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2018 The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...



Promo Image

Core Competencies in Office Furniture

Are you qualified to sit on a chair?

Promo Image

Wanted: Chip-Eater

Wrexham seeks Chip Control Warden.

Promo Image

Inside the Nun Factory

The inner workings of nun manufacture

Promo Image

Toaster Suicide

Death by appliance.

Promo Image

The Domesday Clipboard

The clipboard used to compile the Domesday Book.

Promo Image

Rod 'n' Enya's Rock 'n' Roll Mysteries

Quick Rod Stewart and Enya...


Teaching Carrots to FlyTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs


Latest blog entries...

31 July 2019: Glen Twerk is not at Work

24 July 2019: Goths in Gardens

22 July 2019: Rent-A-Shoe

Copyright © 2015