Pooley's Fire Distinguisher

 

 

Are you on fire?
Perhaps someone you know is getting
singed right at this moment?

It ought to be a simple matter to just pick up a fire extinguisher and put paid to that firey bullshit once and for all but with so many different extinguishers to choose from how do you know you're not just going to make things worse? Do you go for CO2 or foam? What about that burning jacket - is it synthetic or natural fibre, and how will this affect your choice?

Maybe it's better to just walk away and let nature take its course.

Mmm, it's a real problem, not least because while you're busy trying to decide, your trousers are very probably being burnt to a crisp and nobody needs that kind of distraction when they're about to make an important decision. Come on now, think! You're wasting valuable time which could be much better used surfing, knitting or reading a glossy car magazine.

If only there was some way to find out instantly what kind of fire it is? Well guess what, now there is, thanks to Pooley's Fire Distinguisher.

Fire Distinguisher

The Fire Distinguisher is portable and easily operated in an emergency. It analyses your fire in seconds and tells you exactly which extinguisher to use in any given situation with almost complete accuracy*.

Now you need never be burnt alive by indecision again.

*In tests the Fire Distinguisher gave an accurate result 78 times out of 94 and hardly anyone important got roasted at all.

 

Taken from The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2018.

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