After driving round in circles underground for ages, the bus driver finally decided to stop and ask for directions. We came to a group of squat, grubby little fellows with hairy feet, who sang filthy songs as they swung their pick axes and dug for gold. After convincing them that the bus was not a dragon, the driver asked them if they knew the way to the railway station, because he'd be able to get his bearings from there. They told him that we needed to head down the Tunnel of Infinite Sorrow until we reached the Chamber of Emerald Souls. Once here, a magic elf would ask us three questions, and if we answered truthfully and had stout hearts he would open the Door of Glimmering Radiance and allow us to pass through to the Causeway of Ancient Abundance. After that, we had to take the second exit off the roundabout, next to the big Asda, and then the railway station would be on the left - we couldn't miss it.
The driver thanked the fellows politely and gave them a toffee each, then we set off. Well things were looking up at last, so I started to sing a happy little song, but the driver shouted at me to belt up and the old lady with the knitting jabbed me in the ribs with one of her needles, so I just mouthed the words quietly to myself instead.
Before long we came to a sign that said 'TUNNEL OF INFINITE SADNESS (NORTH)' and then under that it said 'NEXT SERVICES 3 MILES'. I asked the driver if we could stop at the services so that I could buy crisps and have a widdle, although not at the same time, but we didn't get that far. There was a screech of brakes and the bus stopped dead because the tunnel was blocked!