The Sandwich: #81

The Sandwich


How does one deal with a giant egg that is blocking your path? This is not a rhetorical question. I'm not being deeply philosophical here. There really was a big egg blocking our way, and we somehow needed to get a bus either over it, under it, around it or through it. Well luckily eggs are a bit of a speciality of mine, since I did them at school when I was in Mrs Edmondson's class. Mrs Edmondson had a wooden liver and she was frightened of cheese, but apart from all that, and the thing with the Womble, she was all right really. She certainly knew a lot about eggs - she had a certificate and everything - and thankfully she passed on all that vital knowledge to her pupils.

For instance, I learned that there are two main ways of dealing with eggs. The first one is to boil them then smash their tops in with a spoon. Obviously, with an egg this size we would need a big paddling pool full of boiling water and a really really really big spoon. These things are not easy to come by when you're stuck underground, miles from the nearest John Lewis.

The second thing you can do is to hatch them. For this, we would need a giant chicken, and these are even harder to get hold of than giant spoons. In fact, I don't even think you can get them in John Lewis. I once knew someone who ordered a badger off of the wide world web, but it was just an ordinary sized one. And when it turned up, it was faulty and he had to send it back. Actually, I don't know why I mentioned it, it's not relevant. Listen, forget everything I said about the badger, ok?

It looked like we were stumped, but then the lady passenger with the knitting had a sudden brain pang and said that she could knit an egg cosy for it, and that might help it hatch. So she knitted it. And then we fitted it. And then we waited.



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