It's our first day in the studio recording our debut album. We've have got a top producer called Stevie Stevenson who has flown in specially from L.A., which I gather is somewhere abroad. He has previously worked with The Sleazy Bishops, Jim Throat and lots of other people that I haven't heard of, which is all rather exciting. He has decided to beef up our traditional banjo sound with a string quartet, a Peruvian pipe band and a man called Raymond who has a big gong. We were a bit unsure about all this at first, especially in the first number - a gentle ballad during which Raymond was banging away on his gong like an absolute mentalist. But Mr Stevenson said it would all work out in the mix, so we went along with it.
The session seemed to go quite well at first, but it wasn't long before the old tensions came bubbling up to the surface once more. We were recording a song written by Sniffy Pickles, about the difficulty of finding a good window cleaner in this day and age. He seemed to think that this was quite modern and relevant, and I suppose he has a point. Back in the day, when window cleaners actually used to go up ladders, they took a real pride in their work. Now they just stay on the ground with a cloth on the end of a pole, and they don't care about getting into the corners or anything.
Anyway, that's what Sniffy's song was all about, and I played this really good banjo solo in the middle, but Sniffy was really... well... sniffy about it, I suppose. Things got heated and I told him that I'd play anything he liked, or I wouldn't play anything at all, whatever would please him. Sniffy thought I was being sarcastic and stormed off, which is fair enough, because that is exactly what I was being.