#108

I have been taken to a police station, walloped with a truncheon and then cautioned. The policeman said "Watch it" then walloped me again. I am now covered in shame and bruises, not to mention fag ends and doggy do, and I have been banned from crawling along in the street on the trail of buses. So, if I want to find the bus that my sandwich was on, I would have to adopt other ways. Fortunately there is more than one way to skin a cat. Unfortunately, I'm not trying to skin a cat, I'm looking for a bus, so I think that you are very silly for bringing the cat into this.

Down to some detective work then, but before I started doing my detecting, I would need some proper detecting clobber. I bought a pipe, a magnifying glass and a silly hat. I would also need some sort of gimmick, like all the proper detectives do. Like, I would have to have a silly voice, or a dirty habit or a catchphrase. I decided that a catchphrase would be bestest, so I adopted the phrase, "Blimey oh crikey, Pedro, I think we're onto something!" This meant I would also need a sidekick called Pedro who I could say it to. I found a man in a fishmonger's who wasn't doing anything. He said his name was Derek, or something, but from now on I would call him Pedro, and I bought him a dirty raincoat and a pair of slippers. Now, everything was in place and we were ready to detect!