The Sandwich: #123

The Sandwich


I've come up with a plan to get into the cat's home. I told you I'd be able to come up with something, just as long as I was left alone to think it through. Well, I did: I sat down on the pavement and had a real good ponder. When I had finished, I felt all sticky because I had sat in the remains of a discarded pizza. Pepperoni and radish, if you're interested. But I had the answer - I would wait until the dead of night, and then I would stealthily shin up a drainpipe and gain entry via an unsecured window. Ha ha! I am a master bugler!

Darkness came. I knew it would. I dressed up in black clothing, smeared muck on my face and bought a jemmy from a man called Jimmy who ran a special burglar's supplies place that only people like me know about. Then I crept round to the Fennimore Home for Agitated Cats. Performing a quick recce of the premises, I heard the faint sound of purring coming from an open window on the second floor and decided that this would be my point of entry. There was a fire escape that would give me easy access in a matter of minutes, but I had spent lots and lots of time perfecting my drainpipe climbing technique, so I opted for that route.

Climbing drainpipes can be quite difficult for a novice, especially if it is plastic, because these don't offer much purchase. Luckily I am quite an experienced drainpiper, and this was an old cast iron pipe that was quite corroded and offered plenty of handholds, so in no time I had reached the first floor. I pitched camp here and fired up my Primus stove to cook a humble but energy-packed meal of sausages in baked beans. After resting for a couple of hours, I pressed on. The route became tougher now, and at one point I slipped and nearly tumbled into a crevasse. However, before long I reached the open window and paused on the sill to peer in.

What I saw was a chilling sight: about forty furry feline faces turned towards me. The leader hissed and suddenly flew at me, clawing at my face. He was quickly joined by the others, squealing and wailing and leaping at me. I lost my grip, fell back into the midnight void and...

Ooh, exciting, a cliff-hanger!



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