The Sandwich: #165

The Sandwich


I awoke in the fusty darkness with an old man's elbow in my face. Well, this was a load of grotty old nonsense, and no mistake. You're probably wondering how I knew that it was an old man's elbow, seeing as how it was so dark. Well, it was attached to an old man, silly. How else would I know?

Where was I? That was what they call a "rhetorical" question - I don't expect you to know the answer. I'll tell you where I was in due course, if you'll just be patient about it. I decided to call out a challenge into the blackness, to see if this would provoke a reaction. "My name is Samuel Ozymandias, you are the Black Fingernail and I claim my ten pounds reward!"

"No you're not," said a voice. It was Dodger's voice! Perhaps, seeing as his voice was here, the rest of Dodger was here as well. I reached out a finger and prodded him in the ribs. He went "Oww." His ribs. His voice. I think it was safe to assume he was present in his entirety.

"The gang's all here," said Dodger. "Me, Oliver Twist, all the other ones that we haven't got names for." They all had the same story to tell - they had all been creeping up on the man with the big pockets when suddenly whammo! There was a great splunk on the back of their heads, and they woke up here.

"So what do we do now?" said Oliver, because it was about time he had a line.

"Let's put on a show!" said Dodger.

"No, let's not do that," I said. "Let's try to find out where we are." And we all agreed that this was a much better idea.



Please give all you can to help mountains in need.
Ofsted Inspection Report
The thing about antimatter is
Mrs Lubricant wants to make the coastline less 'jaggedy'.
Blurring the border between art and chips
Training sandwiches for fun and profit
Herman Frogspawn's new play
How much to pay for a 'Nigel Tomlinson'?
Spartacus Jones has been reading too many comics
New dice for fatalists.


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