The Sandwich: #190

The Sandwich


I have to hack into the Institute of Boffinology so that I can make myself a proper certified boffin. My life is sometimes more complicated than it needs to be. Now, I can do hacking because I saw it in that film that had that man in it. You just have to type really really fast, using more than one finger. It works better when you have a time limit and there is dramatic music underneath. It works even more better when something is about to explode. None of these things was about to happen in the library where I was currently sitting, so I would have to improvise. I jumped up, set off the fire alarm, shouted that there was a bomb in the building at the top of my voice, then set fire to the local history section. While everyone was screaming, I sat down to do my hacking, all the while doing the Mission Impossible theme tune with my mouth. Gosh, it was exciting.

So anyway, there I was, typing really fast, like in the movies. And there were all these columns of green numbers reflected on my face, just like in the movies. And I couldn't use Google to find the website for the Institute of Boffinology, I had to use GroovySearch of FindStuff or something like that, just like in the movies.

Now, the thing about hacking is that you have to find the back door. Every website has a back door - I think it's something to do with fire regulations. Anyway, I found the Boffinology website's back door, and luckily there was a spare key under a flowerpot. I was in! The inside of the website was all virtual wireframe stuff, just like in the movies. I quickly did my business, printed out my special certificate and got up to leave. But there was a man from the bomb squad at the door of the library, and he wasn't keen to let me out.



We'll find someone to blame
Better adapted to eating chips
David McGog MP has been at it again
More attacks by household appliances
Choose from the best clowns in the business
Records what we made up
Our hirsute neighbour in space
Dancer mown dow by chorus line.
A packed programme of events


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