The Sandwich: #205

The Sandwich


Help! Help! Help! The boffins are asking me questions about my work again. It's only a matter of time before they see through my disguise. Apparently "my work" is something to do with making a perfect breakfast, and I need to extemporize quickly.

"Well," I said slowly. That bought me a few seconds. "I've always been troubled by jam. If only there was some way of having toast with jam on but not sticky. That way you don't get it all over your fingers and your face and in your hair, and it doesn't go all up your arm if you accidentally put your elbow in it. Well, that's what happens when I try to eat it anyway. Hence, I have been working on a new type of jam."

"Yes?" said Dr Voltan.

"Yes?" said Archduke Flapjack.

"Yes," I said, still thinking furiously. "You see, you need jam that is sticky enough to stick to the toast, but not sticky enough to stick to you. My new jam is digital, which means that you can control the stickiness far better than normal analogue jam. My new jam is only sticky when you spread it from left to right. So swipe right to spread it on; swipe left to take it off."

Well, they seemed quite happy with that load of old rot. Actually, the more I think about it, the more it seems that digital jam is a good idea. I wonder where I can buy it?



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