#334

I am still falling down this hole. It is, as I knew when I first jumped in, a very deep hole, and so I am resigned to being here for some time. I struck a match so that I could examine the various rock strata as I passed them. I had already gone past all the building foundations and tree roots, then past a layer composed entirely of old Atari cartridges. I had passed Viking longboats, Roman ruins, megalithic dwellings and what appeared to be a crashed flying saucer. There were a lot of fossilised bones at one point. I couldn't quite make them all out because I had picked up quite a bit of speed by now, but I thought I saw something that looked like it had four heads, something else that appeared to be a giant rabbit with wings and also a thing with an incredibly long neck and tiny legs, which looked quite comical but would probably chomp your head off if you laughed at it.

Then, after all that, it was just rocks, rocks and more rocks for a long time, then some sort of honeycomb stuff. I reached out a finger to taste it and it was quite yummy. I felt I must be nearing the core of the planet by this time, because I passed through a layer of fudge, then suddenly I encountered a region that was quite gooey and tasted of strawberry fondant. Aha! Just as I had always thought - the Earth had a soft centre.

After this my match blew out. I couldn't see a thing, but it all smelled very strongly of coconut.