Clearly you have a severe
infestation of kitchen appliances. This is a problem that is becoming increasingly
common. Undercooked food can contain things like microwave oven eggs or dishwasher
larvae, and these can attach themselves to the stomach wall and eventually develop into
fully grown adult appliances. There are basically two ways of treating this.
You can either take a couple of paracetamol then come back and see me in six weeks
if it still hasn't cleared up. Or, alternatively, I could write you a prescription
for an extended warranty.