You see what I mean.   You're not a vampire at all, you're just a Goth with no friends.  I know you're probably disappointed, but think of all the new experiences that life has in store for you, now that you don't have to avoid garlic and churches.  All right, maybe that's small consolation, but for heaven's sake go outside and soak up a little sun - no one who's still breathing should be that pale.