Ah, well you see, the problem is that fabric conditioner will do the same to your insides as it does to a woolly sweater or a pair of socks.  You may find that you suffer from floppy liver or mushy lungs, in which case I wouldn't hold out much hope for your survival.  You could try to counteract the effects with starch - eat it, drink it, inject yourself with it ten times a day.  It will make you as stiff as a board, but you might just pull through.