Ah ha! Now we're getting
somewhere. You don't have a phobia about chickens at all - it's bow ties that you
fear. Well, you'll be pleased to know that a fear of bow ties is not unnatural at
all. Bow ties are actually a species of snake from Malaysia, which are specially
selected for their suppleness and rich coloration. They are rendered unconscious
with a cocktail of drugs and a succession of heavy blows, then shipped out to adorn the
necks of dapper gentlemen all over the world.
Unfortunately, they have a tendency to wake up and throttle
their owners, which is why many doctors like myself have been actively pressing to get
them banned. You are right to fear the bow tie, for it is an evil thing that should
be shunned and hounded from our streets. Go now, little one, and spread the word so
that all the nations of the earth can live in harmony, free from strangulation and
neck-peril.