Oh come off it!  Who are you trying to kid, you pasty-faced, knock-kneed little squirt?  It's not normal to have lumps hanging off your scalp like that, you know.  And you may think that those ugly growths and tufts of hair growing from the side of your nose make you look pleasingly Bohemian but, trust me, nobody's impressed.  A bit of soap now and again wouldn't go amiss either.  Well, there's nothing I can do for you.  You make me sick, go away.