The Museum of Found Noises
The Museum of Found Noises is a new venture opening in Salisbury this month.
Funded by a Lottery grant, it's the brainchild of Graham Dali, a lifelong collector of random, unusual and unexpected sounds.
"We're constantly surrounded by unwanted and unintended noises," Graham explained. "The irritating whine of a drill, the backfiring of a car, the tinny overspill from a fellow commuter's headphones or the involuntary grunt we find ourselves emitting when we bend down to pick something up.
"These sounds are unloved, unappreciated and are often perceived as a source of irritation. But they have a particular beauty all of their own and my mission is to help people appreciate the hidden splendour and poetry of these discarded gems."
Visitors to the museum will be able to wander through several galleries containing a wide range of aural exhibits - everything from dogs barking and creaking floorboards to aircraft noises and the distant slamming of car doors late at night.
There will also be an exhibition of unidentified shrieks and whistles and a special 'quiet room' where people will be able to hear a pin drop.
But not everyone has welcomed the announcement and several residents have already raised objections.
"We can do without this," said Karen Nimby, whose house backs onto the museum site. "We are already home to the National Smell Museum and for the last four years we've played host to the International Wind and Rain Expo. The last thing we need right now is this racket."
Mr Dali nevertheless remains confident that he can overcome any opposition.
"People really have very little to worry about," he said. "The whole building has been especially soundproofed to prevent any of the exhibits escaping, we use vibration-damping materials on all surfaces and the gift shop has been fitted with a silencer. They won't even know we're here."
UK Government to Sell North Sea?
Documents have emerged which suggest that in the 1980s the UK Government was considering selling off its stake in the North Sea.
The United Kingdom has owned a 12 mile strip of the sea bordering its coast since George III won it in a poker game in 1798. Initially very pleased with his new acquisition, the mad monarch spent many a happy hour paddling in the shallows, before finally becoming bored and gifting it to the nation.
Not that the nation particularly wanted it - most people felt that they already had quite enough water as it was and they had no use for any more of the stuff. It was too salty to drink, too wet to burn and anybody venturing into it for recreational purposes usually found that they were rapidly chased out again by stroppy prawns.
It was only with the discovery of oil and gas deposits that the North Sea began to have any value, but by 1982 there were concerns that dwindling reserves would soon put an end to this bounty.
Various schemes were put forward at that time, including turning it into a giant ice rink, filling it with Alka Seltzer to create a National Jacuzzi, and painting it green and calling it 'Arthur'.
In the end a wealthy buyer was found in the Middle East who was interested in shipping it out to Saudi Arabia and using it to wash his fleet of Rolls Royces. The deal ultimately fell through following objections from Norway who feared that once the UK's chunk of sea was removed, their bit would fall into the gap left behind.
Nevertheless, it has emerged that a sale is once more being considered - rumour has it that a private consortium in Central America has expressed an interest in using it to build an extension to the Gulf of Mexico.
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