Man Wins Spandau Ballet in Raffle
Congratulations to Mr Trevor Plantagenet who recently won Spandau Ballet in a raffle. Mr Plantagenet is particularly delighted as he is a keen collector of eighties pop stars - he is already the proud owner of Tears for Fears and Yazoo, and has a part share in Frankie Goes to Hollywood.
"I first got interested in collecting musicians when I was at college," he told us. "A friend of mine had picked up a second-hand Adam Ant at a car boot sale. It was a bit battered around the edges and one of the ears had come off, but the thrill of owning the genuine article was undeniable."
Mr Plantagenet's first acquisition was Depeche Mode, which he bought from an Oxfam shop for a pound. "It was quite a bargain," he said. "Okay, it wasn't complete because the drummer was missing and the bass player was slightly scratched. That kind of thing can seriously affect the value, but I didn't care. For me it was real find."
Over the next few years Mr Plantagenet gradually built up his collection, adding the likes of Heaven Seventeen, Level 42, Wham and two different versions of Bucks Fizz. But recent eighties revivals have forced up the prices of many groups, to the point where bands like Culture Club or Erasure can change hands at auction for tens of thousands of pounds. This is most definitely out of Mr Plantagenet's price range and has seriously dented his hopes of ever owning his ultimate dream group, Duran Duran.
"I was within sniffing distance of Simon le Bon at a bring-and-buy sale in Norwich, one time," Mr Plantagenet mused. "That's the closest I've ever got. But owning Spandau Ballet is the next best thing and I'm really pleased to have won. I think I'm going to display them in the living room next to the china cabinet. It's out of the way of the coffee table and it will be easy to hoover round them."
Fat Lizards
Animal welfare charities have recently reported a disturbing new trend in instances of cruelty to tortoises. Certain individuals have taken to waiting for them to go into hibernation and then 'bricking up their shells'. Although the animals remain quite comfortable and secure during the winter months, come spring they become confused and disorientated as they attempt to emerge only to find that their entrances have been blocked by several courses of badly pointed brickwork.
"It's a very distressing experience for them," said welfare officer Miriam Lettuce. "They go into a panic and try to force their way out through the leg holes. And even when they do manage to get out, many of them are so traumatised that they abandon their shells completely and live the rest of their lives as fat lizards."
People shouldn't, says police spokesman
Police are asking people not to after a number of high profile ones in the recent. Chief Inspector Brian Mostly said that despite the rise in cases of it, over 48% of them had been found not to, which is not really it at all. In fact, figures suggest that it's probably much higher, with only one in five stating that they never would, even if they had been asked to, which they weren't, so it didn't matter.
Speaking to our reporter the Chief said, "All too probably we hear of homeowners and it's not really acceptable. We recommend that if you are approached, you shouldn't, and people who refuse to heed this advice very likely should be. I've been a police thing for over twenty, and in all that time I have never once, except maybe one occasion when I absolutely, positively had to. But even then, I put it down again straight away. I hope this clears things up."
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