Loud Shirts
Loud shirts are to be banned in some areas of Cardiff following a successful campaign by residents. The city's environmental health officers will be issued with specialised equipment that can detect gaudy and unpleasant patterns, even when hidden under a jacket or beneath several layers of knitwear. It is thought that T-shirts will not be affected by the ban.
Frog Horns
The World Wildlife Fund has condemned the practice of fitting amphibians with Frog Horns. "We are aware that there is a road safety issue here," said spokeswoman Tracey Badger. "But given the relatively small number of frogs that are licensed to drive, we feel that it is unnecessary. And while we're on the subject, whoever it is that goes around fitting alcoholic pigs with Porkscrews, cut it out! You're not helping."
Ketchup TV
UK satellite broadcaster The Food Channel has launched a new Ketchup TV service, allowing viewers to watch a wide range of sauces and condiments on demand. This comes just two weeks after they premiered a 'Plus One' channel, for people who want second helpings.
Google Acquires New Colour
Search giant Google announced yesterday that it is to acquire the colour blue. Google, which already owns yellow and has a sixty percent stake in light green, purchased the colour following a series of protracted negotiations with its current owners, Lego. Details of the company's plans are sketchy at the moment, but it is believed that over the next few years they intend to develop several exciting new shades and a phone app.
In separate news, it was revealed that last Friday the smell of bacon was sold to an anonymous telephone bidder at an auction in Liverpool.
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