.mars
Anyone hoping to grab one of the new .mars internet domain names when they become available next week may be in for a disappointment. In an effort to prevent cyber-squatting, ICANN, the body responsible for the allocation of top level domains, has said that the new addresses will only be available to Martian citizens. In order to successfully obtain a .mars domain, applicants will need to demonstrate that they have a working knowledge of Martian geology and its atmosphere (which is relatively easy) and that they have been resident there for at least six months (which isn't).
Man Rescued from Own Trousers
A forty-three year old man had to be rescued by a fire crew when his leg became stuck in his own trousers. Firefighters were called to an address in Coronation Avenue at 9.27am on Thursday, April 10, where they were finally able to release the unnamed man using bolt croppers, three tubs of Vaseline and a crowbar. The man was taken to the nearby accident and emergency unit where his vest and a pair of socks were removed in a three hour operation. His condition was later described as 'stable', although his underpants are currently on a ventilator.
Orbital Snow Plough
Exciting news for shareholders of JCB, the multinational manufacturer of construction equipment, with the announcement that the company has been awarded the contract to build the International Orbital Snow Plough. The 'Space Plough' as it is popularly known, was first proposed in the late eighties as a way of manipulating weather by shunting clouds around in the upper atmosphere. In particular it is designed to move snow clouds that have drifted down into lower latitudes, pushing them back to the North Pole where than sort of thing is tolerated.
Initial plans to build the plough were shelved when funding was redirected to an alternative scheme to construct a series of satellite de-icers, but concerns about aerosol propellants could not be overcome. Now a joint international venture has resurrected the Space Plough idea and, if successful, hopes to raise further funding to erect a geo-stationary windbreak over Greenland.
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