WWW UBO
The University of the Bleeding Obvious

The UK's 7th funniest comedy site, probably

Quality Service at Pooley's

With our motoring correspondent, Martin Carburetor.

Not Funny

Prof Jez Moonbeam is laughable.

Your Staff Feedback, Your Way

Tired of hearing from ungrateful and misguided staff?

'Ello 'Ello 'Ello, What's All This Then?

Presenting The Metropolitan Police Choir.

Mr & Mrs Pottle are Lost Again

Why can't these people just stay at home?

Centuri Space Supplies

Second hand space travel

Dolby Noise Reduction Sausages

Cut out the hiss next breakfast time.

Doing the Lord's Work

Vicars on the job.

Barney's Magic Wonder Show

Belinda Sommers reviews the latest production.

Butterfly

Prof Jim Spanners explains chaos theory

Emergency Kebabs

When you absolutely positively need a kebab.

Jehovah's Cleaners

Because cleanliness is nexr to godliness.

Maisy Donnington's Guide to Perking Yourself Up

Turn that frown upside down.

Shepton Bassett - A Vision for the Future

Better late than never, our town plan.

In the market for a used policeman?

How to spot a dodgy copper.

For Kids of All Ages...

Introducing our new range of children's books.

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Is Your Tortoise Roadworthy?

Important news from the Ministry of Tortoises.

Caught by the Fuzz

New Recruitment Initiatives within the UK Police Force.

It's All in the Game

Classic board games from the past.

Astralguard

Insurance for Astral Travellers.

Criminal Offence Self-Assessment Form

Tick the box if you're a wrong 'un.

Fraudulent Bananas

Phony fruit.

Evening Courses

Pseudo-academic subjects and frivolous arts and crafts courses.

Something Happened on Tuesday

Probably, but we're not sure what.

Topping Talent

Featuring the Marvellous Undersea Kingdom of Colin Chocolate.

Product Recall

Some of our biscuits may contain canoes.

Cake Rage

Pastry related assaults.

Wind Tunnel Technician

Pardon?

Oven Chimps

With none of the greasy aftertaste of regular monkeys.

Traffic Watch

Heavy vibes are causing delays on the A52.

Happismiles Emergency Clown Service

For when your regular clown lets you down.

Shark Fishing

Fergus Pong has a shark problem.

Cut Price Chips

You like chips? You like lots of chips?

The Square Root of Green

Fresh breakthrough in the science of colourology.

Teaching Carrots to Fly

The cutting edge of vegetable warfare.

Carter-Pierrepoint

Particulate mapping of key delivery nodes.

Night of the Womble

Unpublished Womble book is dystopian nightmare.

Food Banking

MPs praise growing industry.

World of Holes

Europe's leading stockist of quality holes.

New Deposits of Earwax Discovered

Significant quantities discovered in Mr Harry Frome

Gin!

Gin, gin and more gin!

Mr Bannerman's Evidence

Courtroom confusion.

The Sandwich Advisor

Buying a sandwich is the third most stressful thing you can do.

The World Bullshit Record

Team bonding, goal setting and table top brainstorming

Local Heroes

Outstanding achievements in the field of vandalism.

Skydiving

Skydiving without the unnecessary inconvenience of a parachute.

Knitting in Colour

This day in 1956 saw the introduction of the first regular colour knitting patterns.

Empire of the Flowers

Major General Barmy-Phipps Discusses Operation Growbag.

Fatquake

A sad farewell to the world's fatest man.

Scoop!

Local frog trapped in drain.

Comfy Dinners

A meal fit for a bed.

The Unusual Suspects

A message from Det. Insp. Barker Harris.

Are you ready for Digital Ornithology?

Analogue birds are about to be switched off.

Maisy Donnington's Cheese Etiquette Page

Your guide to the wonderful world of cheese.

Dream Strides

Emergency trousers delivered direct to your anxiety nightmare.

Man Blames ESA for Domestic Eclipse

Mr Cravat is not happy about where they park their stuff.

Have you got what it takes to stay in the country?

Be a great Briton. Or get out.

Travel News

Cowboys on the line and bricked up tunnels,

Tony Fold's Country Rambles

with guest rambler, Rory Triffic.

Diagnosis

Professor Wimple has a dirty mouth.

Forward to the '80s

How we'll all be travelling in the '80s.

Jaggedy

Mrs Lubricant wants a tidiery Britain.

Cheese Genome Finally Cracked!

Scientific proof of the existence of cheese.

Feathered Friends

Could you befriend a lonely parrot?

10 Things You Never Knew About Frogs

Frogtastic Facts

Punctuation Crisis

We're running out of apostrophes.

Gentlemen's Etiquette

How to behave right proper and all that.

Mr Gammon's Objections

Shepton Bassett Council Responds

Things Fall Over All the Time

Arthur's train only has wheels on one side.

Maisy Donnington's Office Safety

How to avoid the business end of a stapler.

Some People You've Never Heard Of

Rancid Alan Grease and others.

Stuff Your Bleeding Job

How to resign digracefully.

Dark Batter

Is the missing mass in the Universe actually pastry?

A Fistful of Sausages

Brought to you by the meat marketing board.

Fats Porker - Blues Whinger

In memory of Crappsville's finest son.

The Wackiest Person in the UK

Alison Perkins is a mad as a fish.

Cold Fusion Sandwiches

A new era in atomic lunches.

Echo...Echo

Mr Clutterbuck has an echo... echo... echo.

Core Competencies in Office Furniture

Sign up for a certificate in filing cabinets.

No More Glasses!

Fry sausages with just a wink of the eye.

Ant Facts

with Donald Fact.

Slugbond

Because an inflated slug is a happy slug.

The Alternative Olympics

Speed swingball and dodgem rallying.

Baby's First Swear

Teach your little angel to swear like a trooper.

Rod Stewart and Enya's Rock 'n' Roll Mysteries

Solving crimes and fighting bad guys.

Donald Fact's Fact Breakers

Remembering the classic '70s kids' show.

The Language of Dance

Jazz hands and quickstep.

Petty Complaints Ombudsman

Giving your batshit insade complaints the respect they deserve.

A Career in Printing

Why not specialise in the colour green?

Moroccan Dancing Moles

David Attenburger's Wonderful World of Nature.

Dougal Fridgely

Possible dwarf planet discovered in Tadcaster

Grampion Strangely's Mountain Rescue

These vulnderable mountains need your help.

The Aromatron

A whole new world of smells awaits you.

Exploding Dinners

Put the fun back into dinner time.

Death By Pastry

A huge pie just hanging in space.

Welcome to Stick World

If you like sticks, well, we've got sticks.

International Arse Kicking

Bottom kicking for fun and profit.

The Wonderful World of Ants

Ants, ants, ants, ants!

Dobbins of Doncaster

Get yourself a quality ass.

The Montreux Clinic For Aural Readjustment

Get your wonky flappers straightened here

Fleegle

New number has consequences for the future of the universe. And bingo.

National Consumer Instructions Awards

Confusing, badly translated or just plain weird.

The Fish Olympics

Piscine polevaulting and haddock hurdles.

The Ultimate Procrastination Suite

Just been handed a project but can't be bothered to get started?

SciFi Fan Draws a Blank

Publisher leaves pages blank to cut costs.

We're No Longer Recruiting...

...but here are some of the unlucky applicants

Space Things

The continuing adventures of Astro Cat.

World of the Wacky

With the Amazing Mr Ooluv

Cash for Pets

Trade in your unwanted dog.

Twenty-First Century Scouting

A woggle for the new miilenium.

Christopher Columbus Discoveries Inc

If you've lost it, Chris will find it.

It's a Fact!

More facts from the Funky Fact Feller.

Nuclear Garden

Mr Sideboard is not happy about his exploding shed.

Flexi Mortem

The only credit card you can use after death.

Poot

Bigger, Better, Faster, Now!

Yeti Makeover

Mrs Stenchtrouser is planning an expedition.

Puzzle Page!

With the amazing Mr Ooluv.

Bristletech Industries

Do you need to grow a beard? Fast?

The Bleeding Obvious

You pay peanuts, you get monkeys.

Persons Unknown

Mr Frampton is looking for somoeone to blame.

The Horse-Drawn Record Player

Equestrian technology.

Nobby Wentworth's Pet Surgery

Save cash - fix your own pets in the comfort of your own home.

Cock

The magazine for young gentlemen.

Pooley's Fire Distinguisher

Put paid to that firey bullshit.

Noblock and Kerfanderbuck

All smileytangled cockrock strop.

Rob Hammond's Essential Guide to Buddhism

Rob Hammond will give you a spiritual kicking,

Piffin: A Mediterranean Paradise

Boasting Europe's biggest landfill.

Staff Handbook

A handy guide to your new workplace.

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Amateur Stamp Collector Collector

Want to know how much to pay for a Nigel Tomlinson?

Typists of the Kalahari

Shorthand tigers and double entry hippos.

Greygolds Residential Care Home

Where quality care costs extra.

Tax, What Tax?

Sir John Wyndrell has never heard of his own company.

Sounds of Nature

Relax with chickens.

Help a Pirate in Need

These buccaneers desperately need your support.

An Open Letter to Shepton Bassett Park & Zoo

Sorry about your monkeys.

Dilbert's Donkey Solutions

Professional donkey storage.

The Thoroughfare of Success

Dick Smidgen teaches you how to live your life but better.

Pigmongering

Fergus Pong introduces us to this dying art.

Scrufty's Magic Juju Shoppe

A tale of oconker mismanagement.

Songs of Inspiration

Jesus Wants Me For His Darts Team.

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Mind Your Wind

Issued by the Ministry of Gas, 1942.

Eazee-post

Taking the pain out of internet forums.

Award for Outstanding Celebrity

New awards for old has-beens

Jazz Bomb

Raw unadulterated jazz.

Arty Tomatoes

Guy Pakker's latest artistic venture.

The Kidderminster Lemon Exchange

Open now for faster, more reliable lemon exchange.

An Important Announcement about Fish

Clever trout and erudite pilcards.

Professional Scarer

GRRRRRR! AAAAARRRRGH! GRRRR!

New Rights for Fictional Characters

It's no longer ok to call Oliver Twist a twat.

Petunia Mulch

Plant psychologist.

Barry the Road Safety Owl

No nonsense advice from a wise old bird

Extreme Dinosaurs

Skateboarding plesiosaurs, rollerblading raptors and a brontosaurus with a space hopper.

It's a Fact

Fun facts from the Fact Master. Fank you.

So Special

Special beauty therapies for very special people.

Cosmos Rocks

In an infinite universe, there is no limit to human gullibility.

Crystal N.R.G.

Harnessing the mystical bollocks of the universe.

The Devil's Arse On Tour

Famous cavern to tour country

St Tiddles in the Font

Parish newsletter.

Global Moistening

Fear of a wet planet.

How To Be Sweary

with Professor Timothy Bottom.

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Stupid Stories

Some more stupid than others.

Barry Buys a Broom
Barry Buys a Broom

Barry Buys a Broom

Dirty Doings at Featherstone Manor
Dirty Doings at Featherstone Manor

Dirty Doings at Featherstone Manor

Board Meeting
Board Meeting

Board Meeting

The Day Before Tomnorrow
The Day Before Tomnorrow

The Day Before Tomnorrow

Tall Story in a Short Glass
Tall Story in a Short Glass

Tall Story in a Short Glass

The Hedgehog King
The Hedgehog King

The Hedgehog King

The Mystery of the Shitfaced Man
The Mystery of the Shitfaced Man

The Mystery of the Shitfaced Man

Venus by Catapult
Venus by Catapult

Venus by Catapult

You Again
You Again

You Again

Death, Doom and Disaster
Death,Doom and Disaster

Death, Doom and Disaster

Goldilocks and the Free Bears
Goldilocks and the Free Bears

Goldilocks and the Free Bears

Buy Our Shampoo

Just buy it, ok.

Donald Fact's Fact Blast

It's a Fact, brought to you by Crunchy Flakes.

Neighbor Nightmares: The Movie

Two men, one drive, no prisoners.

Historic Knees

Knees of outstanding natural beauty.

Buttock Express

Your arse in our hands.

What Is It?

How what why when who where and when? Hello?

The Prime Time Gameshow Generator

As used by TV executives worldwide.

Bad Grandma Grammar

The inappropriate erection of words.

Lillywhite Lenny

On the importance of staying on the fecking horse.

British Gas

Sending foreign gas back home.

Ralph Trundle: F1 Driver

We talk to a legend of the circuit

Digital Vicars

The secret ways that vicars communicate?

Know Your Birds

Major General Barmy-Phipps Discusses Modern Day Bird Warfare

Top Twenty Albums of the '70s

With Ricky Stratocaster, professor of twangology.

Gerald de Scooter's Restaurant Guide

Top notch swanky grub,

Bing Crosby Boxing

Punching singers in the mouth.

Maxi-Lingual for Motorists

Curse fluently in over six languages.

No Offence

The Right Honourable David McGog unapologetically apologises.

Brick II

Recycling the rubble.

Art

Selwyn Peach paints Elephants

Bare-knuckle Snooker

The biggest threat to law and order since badminton

Blood Donors Needed

Please bleed into the envelope provided.

Mathew Sandblaster-Trogg

A bouncy little freak.

Kicking Up a New Stink

Breakthrough leads to discovery of new smell.

The Delusion of J Henry Proudfoot

We meet an alien archaeologist.

Old Clothes

Trading Standards warn against dangerously out of date clobber.

Machiavelli Management Solutions

Discipline over distance.

Sofas are From Mars...

The race to put the first sofa on Mars.

Selling Crap for Fun and Profit

The very best in useless tat.

Sugar Free Vegan Diesel

There's no butter in it either.

Hear and Now

For collectors of rare and unusual sounds.

The Embarrasment of Nasal Hair Loss

Nostril wigs for all occasions

A Ding-Dong Duvets

Prof Reynaud pulls a fast one.

Anti-Assertiveness Classes

Tone it down a bit.

Wisbech

Theft of town exposed as hoax.

Here Comes Barry Smith

Wise words from Shepton Bassett's number one coach driver.

A Very Local Paper

All the news that's local to Mr Henry Droop, Littlehampton.

What's On in Lower Bumpstead

A packed programme, following that unfortunate incident with the fire eater.

The Drivelling

Troubled Hammer film gets new release.

Munchy Burger

Can you cut the mustard as a top burger executive?

Pigchums

Meet likeminded pigs in your area!

Harry Carson is Watching You

It's a man's life as a modern store detective.

Pretty Pictures

Better management through crayons.

Veg-U-Like

Tomatoes, cauliflower, brussel sprouts and peas - collect the whole set.

Doing Lengths

Mr Zing is swimming from pole to pole

The National Key Museum!

We've got keys!

Introducing Flying Squirrels

Flying into the side of a house at forty knots...

Auras by Post?

Spruce up your chakras

Glen Twerk is not at Work

Caveat emptor, quo vadis.

One-Sided Dice

One-Sided Dice for Fatalists.

A Sustained Corporate Battering

We're concerned about Mr Pyle

How Long is a Piece of String?

The hit gameshow for all the family.

An Old Fart Remembers

Do you remember Puthering Day?

Metal Detecting

German U-Boat Found on Devon Beach.

Inside the Nun Factory

Where do nuns come from?

Squeak Off

The big noise in footwear technology.

Well Stuffed

Rogue taxidermist terrorises family pets.

The Long Range Trouser Forecast

Overnight corduroys and occasional dungarees.

Rationalising Britain's River Network

Britain's waterways need straightening,

Optimum Leaning Angles

How to look cool and interesting at an angle.

Operation Mutton

The millitary applications of sheep during WWII.

Motorcycle Display Teams

A bunch of blokes twatting about on bikes.

Marmaduke Irksome: A Retrospective

Talking crap in the House of Commons.

Jars-4-u

Get your jars opened by a professional jar opener!

Thinking of Buying an Octopus?

How to look after your squishy friend.

Why Your Printer Doesn't Work

Most of these devices are allergic to paper.

The Discovery of Vitamin G

Great moments in science.

Galactic Phrasebook

Learn to speak Venusian!

Did Man Really Go To Belgium?

The dark truth behind the Belgian conspiracy

Drive-by Wallpapering

Delinquent decorating.

Announcing the iSpong

Totally changing the way that people spong in the future.

Tripping the Dark Fantastic

Hello darkness my old friend

Out and About

The International Toast Museum and other attractions.

The Battersea Wigs Home

We never put a healthy wig down.

Linguini!

Learn to speak fluent pasta.

Short and Curly

Unlocking the power of curly hair.

How to Look After Your Cement Mixer

A great addition to any home.

Cosmic Background Apathy

Will the universe keep expanding until it can't be bothered anymore?

Cooker Island

Where the toasters roam free.

Shave the Moon

Our hairy satellite.

The Trivial Accident Group

Have you been slightly inconvenienced at work?

So You've Got a New Manager?

How to stop it crapping in your in tray.

Brixham Trouser Museum

The UK 's premier ttouser experience.

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Something stupid