Forward to the '80s

Forward to the '80s

Technological advances have come along at an astonishing rate in recent years, especially when it comes to transport. Who would have thought that one day we'd be flying across the Atlantic at supersonic speeds, or hurtling along railway tracks in a tilting train!

But what does the future hold? In this special feature we're going to take a glimpse into our crystal ball and look at some of the extraordinary ways we'll all be getting from A to B in the 1980s.

The Octobus

Able to travel in eight directions at once, the Octobus will play a crucial role in easing traffic congestion.

These luxury, nuclear-powered vehicles will be equipped with on-board entertainment facilities, such as Pong video games and screens showing the latest Smokey and the Bandit movie.

There will also be a shopping arcade in the central hub where you can buy Arctic Roll, Opal Fruits or a Wimpy Burger.

 

Space hopper

Megahopper

Today's spacehoppers can't actually go into space, but in the future that's exactly what they will be able to do. New synthetic polymers will pave the way for spacehoppers with enough elasticity to achieve escape velocity, and by 1986 we should see the introduction of a regular passenger service, using giant spacehoppers that can bounce around the planet in one third of the time it takes a regular commercial flight.

heli-pony

Heli-pony

As we know from TV shows like The Six Million Dollar Man, bionic implants are now very much a part of everyday life and very soon they will be helping our equine friends take to the skies. The Heli-pony is a modern-day Pegasus which runs on a combination of hay, carrots and kerosene, employing similar technology to that used in the two-speed auto-donkey. Once again the horse will become an integral part of all our transport solutions.

swingball

Intercity Swingball

We all know that swingball is the most fun that you can possibly have, but did you realise that it is also the fastest man-made object? The ball at the end of the line easily reaches speeds in excess of 25 miles per second, which is why it gives you such a whack when it hits you in the face. Plans are already underway to integrate swingball physics into a clean, efficient mass transit system. The first UK service is set to commence between London and Leeds in 1982, and most cities will have a swingball station by the end of the decade.

The Hoversofa

Imagine what it would be like to be able to travel without ever having to leave the comfort of your own sofa. Well, with the Hoversofa you can do precisely that. With a top speed of more than sixty miles an hour, this will be the preferred method of locomotion in the '80s and we can expect to see many different makes and models in our towns and cities.

 

Taken from The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2018

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