The Obvious Guide to Standard British Nuns

Nun: Black
Standard Black & White

Plain nun. Liquorice flavour.

Nun: Grey
Grey

The SAS of the nun world: specially trained sisters operating in the shadowy world of ecclesiastical counter espionage. If ever you need to take out a bishop, or put the squeeze on an archdeacon, these are the girls for the job.

Nun: Blue
Sub-Aqua Nun

Powered by cornflakes and rum, the specially adapted sub-aqua nun can remain submerged for anything up to eighteen hours at a time, thanks to the addition of floatation tanks and a blowhole.

Nun: hover
The Mark IV Remotely Operated Hovernun

Can be deployed at a moment's notice to penetrate areas that ordinary nuns cannot reach. Generally employed for long distance missionary work and tactical conversions.

Nun: Stealth
Stealth Nun

Goes without saying, really.

Nun: Green
Green Nun

Emergency nuns for use in times of national emergency. They were originally employed during the war, but are now sadly ill equipped compared to today's modern pneumatic nuns. Many of them have faulty knees and are weak in the head.

 

WARNING:

In these days we increasingly run the risk of coming into contact with shoddy and dangerous counterfeit nuns. Remember, only nuns that have been produced by an officially recognised religious denomination can be considered safe and reliable. So, be on your guard. Check for signs of tampering or hasty workmanship. If possible, try to get hold of the original registration documents. And remember, all Catholics produced after December 1996 now carry the Pope's official seal of approval.

seal of approval

 

Return to 'Inside the Nun Factory'

 

Return to Archive 3

coin

Get access to our library for just £1!
14 books for you to download, including all our annuals and the EXCLUSIVE members-only Private Bits.

books

Click Here to get your download link.

Close

Private Bits

Private Bits

This 70-page PDF is packed full of silly stuff you won't find anywhere else.

Download here for just £1.

The UBO Annual 2021

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2021

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

Stupid Stories

Stupid Stories

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

The UBO Annual 2020

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2020

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

The UBO Annual 2018

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2018

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

The UBO Annual 2017

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2017

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

UBO Vol 1

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Vol 1

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

UBO Vol 2

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Vol 2

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

 

InstagramFacebookTwitter
The latest in home entertainment
Now you too can learn to fly like a squirrel!
Records what we made up
New crime prevention initiative.
Insurance for Astral Travellers.
We open your jars for you!
Spartacus Jones has been reading too many comics
A universe of geological treasures can be yours
The dark side of interior decorating
Mrs Lubricant wants to make the coastline less 'jaggedy'.

 

Extreme DinosaursTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Latest blog entries...

15 October 2021: The Sandwich: #124

14 October 2021: The Sandwich: #123

13 October 2021: The Sandwich: #122