Project Leaf Fusion

Clover

Fascinating new information has emerged about a Cold War CIA programme to harness the power of bad luck.

The project was predicated on theories devised at the beginning of the twentieth century by the eminent Polish physicist, mathematician and fortune teller Madame Zuzu the All-Seeing.

Scientific basis

Attempting to demonstrate a scientific basis for good luck, she developed a formula which could be used to quantify 'luck' as a property of every object in the universe. Her work was largely ignored at the time but in the sixties it was revisited by American researchers who realised that the equation also pointed to the existence of objects which had 'negative luck'.

These objects, they reasoned, could be weaponised and so the search began for unlucky rabbits' feet, unlucky wishbones, unlucky charms and so on. The idea was that these items could be deployed in such a way as to cause calamity and despair amongst the enemy.

Unlucky horseshoe

Recently declassified documents reveal that in 1963 an unlucky horseshoe was actually presented to Fidel Castro, but failed to have any significant effect other than to cause the Cuban leader to stub his toe. This outcome neatly demonstrated a common problem: although objects with negative luck did indeed exist, their influence was not sufficiently powerful to cause the level of mayhem and dismay that was required.

Plans were drawn up to try and amplify the 'misfortune field' through various means, and there was at least one attempt to splice two unlucky four leaf clovers together and therefore double its power, but this was still a long way from becoming a practical weapon. It was calculated that in order to have any appreciable effect, the clover would need to have at least three and a half thousand leaves. Since this was both a logistical and horticultural impracticality, the project was abandoned.

 

Return to Archive 4

www.bleeding-obvious.co.uk

The University of the Bleeding Obvious's Private Bits

Private Bits

72 pages of previously unseen material including Formula 1 Shopping Trolley Racing, Knee Operations for Fruit Flies, Quantum Farming, a visit to The Book Crevice, Gary the Builder, and The Affair of the Flat Vicar, a brand new adventure for the eminent Belgian dick, Anton La Cranque.

All this and more will only be available in this volume as a PDF and is yours for a measly £1 - yes £1 (or whatever the equivalent is in your fancy foreign money). To download it now, click here.

Click here to close this box

Private Bits

Private Bits

This 70-page PDF is packed full of silly stuff you won't find anywhere else.

Download here for just £1.

The UBO Annual 2021

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2021

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

The UBO Annual 2020

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2020

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

The UBO Annual 2018

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2018

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

The UBO Annual 2017

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2017

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

UBO Vol 1

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Vol 1

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

UBO Vol 2

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Vol 2

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

 

InstagramFacebookTwitter
Sir Arthur tells us what went wrong
Mr Chokice notes the main entrance is only protected by a turnstile.
The miracle of laser eye surgery
Your noise reduction breakfast
Clown killer finally behind bars.
Quality donkeys at bargain prices
Airfix wins major defence contract.
Training sandwiches for fun and profit
North Sea crime figures fall
Final proof of the existence of cheese

 

Standard British NunsTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Latest blog entries...

24 February 2021: A New Direction

13 January 2021: Welcome to Little Mungford

23 December 2020: Very Disappointing. Avoid.

Copyright © 2016