The Amazing Mr Ooluv's

Mr Ooluv World of the Wacky

The Amazing Mind Reading Trick

First write down the words "Jesus Christ!" on a piece of paper, then fold it carefully so that no one can see. Next, choose a victim and tell him that you can predict the very next words he will say. He won't believe you, of course, and might even be prepared to bet a lot of money to prove you wrong.

Once you've accepted his wager, heat up two steel rods in a fire, then ram them hard up the victim's nostrils. Your friends will be amazed when he cries out the very phrase you've written down, and you'll be quids in!

The Amazing Paralysing Limb Trick

Here's a good one. Choose a victim and tell him that you can perform a secret Buddhist ritual that will make him lose all control of his left arm. He won't believe you, of course, and might even be prepared to bet a lot of money to prove you wrong.

Once you've accepted his wager, tell him to close his eyes and slowly touch the tip of his nose with his left hand. Next, tell him to do the same with his right. Then, while he's distracted, grab his arm and slam it repeatedly in a door until it becomes all useless. (Note: you might have to slam the door quite hard before the arm breaks). Your friends will be amazed when he suddenly loses all command of the limb, and you'll be quids in!

The Amazing Disappearing Pencil Trick

For this one you will need a really sharp pencil and mallet. First... actually I think you can probably figure this one out for yourself.

Needless to say, your friends will be amazed, possibly sickened, when your victim hobbles away after his close encounter with the contents of your pencil case - which is just as well since by now you should have had all their spare cash off them anyway.

 

 

Taken from The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2015

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2015

Return to Archive 4

www.bleeding-obvious.co.uk

The University of the Bleeding Obvious's Private Bits

Private Bits

72 pages of previously unseen material including Formula 1 Shopping Trolley Racing, Knee Operations for Fruit Flies, Quantum Farming, a visit to The Book Crevice, Gary the Builder, and The Affair of the Flat Vicar, a brand new adventure for the eminent Belgian dick, Anton La Cranque.

All this and more will only be available in this volume as a PDF and is yours for a measly £1 - yes £1 (or whatever the equivalent is in your fancy foreign money). To download it now, click here.

Click here to close this box

Private Bits

Private Bits

This 70-page PDF is packed full of silly stuff you won't find anywhere else.

Download here for just £1.

The UBO Annual 2021

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2021

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

The UBO Annual 2020

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2020

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

The UBO Annual 2018

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2018

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

The UBO Annual 2017

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2017

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

UBO Vol 1

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Vol 1

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

UBO Vol 2

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Vol 2

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

 

InstagramFacebookTwitter
Company salutes to maintain loyalty
We investigate the Belgian conspiracy
Visit the Toast Museum in Stoke-on-Trent!
More attacks by household appliances
Death by appliance.
The biggest threat to law and order since badminton
All-weather skating.
Have you seen these men?
A fourth colour on traffic lights
Clown killer finally behind bars.

 

Teaching Carrots to FlyTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Latest blog entries...

24 February 2021: A New Direction

13 January 2021: Welcome to Little Mungford

23 December 2020: Very Disappointing. Avoid.

Copyright © 2015