I'm Christopher Columbus IX - or possibly X, or XI. Whatever. My family has been in the business of finding stuff ever since my illustrious ancestor first discovered America in 1492 - a continent which is still in use today!
Of course, most of the major land masses have been discovered now. If there are any left, the chances are that they are so well hidden that they may never see the light of day. But with over three hundred years' experience to call on, our friendly, family firm can still offer an unparalleled service.
Remember the tomb of Tutankhamen? What about the wreck of the Titanic? Well, we didn't discover those, but Mr Christian Pyle of Northampton was very grateful when we managed to find the watch that he had mislaid during a trip to the cinema. Likewise, Mrs Carol Prontt was more than happy when we managed to find her missing Yorkshire terrier wedged down the back of the sofa. And Mr and Mrs Howard Stewart were certainly glad they gave us a call the night that they couldn't find their way home from the pub."
Naming a new disease
What you need to know
We've got holes for every occasion
Stronger lettuces for hardier salads.
The church bans the wearing of sandals
The dark side of interior decorating
21 March 2017: Hypnotic Wipes to Tackle Information Leakage
16 March 2017: Space Junk
14 March 2017: Ladder Ordeal Enters Sixteenth Hour