Product Recall:

McKenzie's Family Assortment

Due to a fault in one of our packaging machines, a number of boxes of the above product have been found to contain small canoes, vaulting horses and other items of sports equipment.

This problem has now been rectified, and it is believed that only a small quantity escaped our rigorous quality control procedures. Nevertheless, in the interests of safety, we advise anyone who has recently bought the product to return it to the place of purchase for a full refund.

It must be stressed that these foreign items are in no way injurious to health. There is a slight risk of a canoe becoming wedged in the windpipe if the product is eaten hastily, but otherwise they are perfectly safe, being broken down quite easily in the digestive system and then passed with only a moderate amount of pain and discomfort.

Recent reports of Mr Eric Tabmow of Leicester choking on a pair of spiked running shoes sandwiched between the two layers of a custard cream have sparked unnecessary alarm. It must be pointed out that Mr Tabmow was very old and infirm, and would probably have died soon anyway.

Likewise Mrs Erica Felch of Cheltenham, who died as a result of her injuries when a Formula 3 racing car caught fire in her lower colon. Admittedly, Mrs Felch was a perfectly healthy young woman, but we reason that anyone who can happily munch their way through a 168 horsepower motor vehicle without noticing anything amiss is bound to come a cropper sooner or later.

Note: This warning does not apply to the McKenzie's Luxury Assortment, special packs of which contain a 14,000 seat Olympic Stadium as part of an ongoing promotion.

Thank You for your co-operation.

Issued McKenzie's Foodstuffs and Offal by-products PLC.

Return to Archive 1

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2018 The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

InstagramFacebookTwitter
Promo Image

Support a Helpless Pirate

Could you spare just three doubloons a day?

Promo Image

Vapid

The ultimate procrastination software for business

Promo Image

Mind Your Wind

The enemy is listening for your flatulence. Watch your emissions.

Promo Image

Extreme Dinosaurs

Coming this season to The Discovery Channel.

Promo Image

Night of the Womble

Lost Womble book to be published.

Promo Image

A Boost for Industry

Airfix wins major defence contract.

 

Extreme DinosaursTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Latest blog entries...

28 March 2020: How to be Sweary

26 March 2020: Dream Strides

24 March 2020: Mindlessness: An Introduction