Product Recall:

McKenzie's Family Assortment

Due to a fault in one of our packaging machines, a number of boxes of the above product have been found to contain small canoes, vaulting horses and other items of sports equipment.

This problem has now been rectified, and it is believed that only a small quantity escaped our rigorous quality control procedures. Nevertheless, in the interests of safety, we advise anyone who has recently bought the product to return it to the place of purchase for a full refund.

It must be stressed that these foreign items are in no way injurious to health. There is a slight risk of a canoe becoming wedged in the windpipe if the product is eaten hastily, but otherwise they are perfectly safe, being broken down quite easily in the digestive system and then passed with only a moderate amount of pain and discomfort.

Recent reports of Mr Eric Tabmow of Leicester choking on a pair of spiked running shoes sandwiched between the two layers of a custard cream have sparked unnecessary alarm. It must be pointed out that Mr Tabmow was very old and infirm, and would probably have died soon anyway.

Likewise Mrs Erica Felch of Cheltenham, who died as a result of her injuries when a Formula 3 racing car caught fire in her lower colon. Admittedly, Mrs Felch was a perfectly healthy young woman, but we reason that anyone who can happily munch their way through a 168 horsepower motor vehicle without noticing anything amiss is bound to come a cropper sooner or later.

Note: This warning does not apply to the McKenzie's Luxury Assortment, special packs of which contain a 14,000 seat Olympic Stadium as part of an ongoing promotion.

Thank You for your co-operation.

Issued McKenzie's Foodstuffs and Offal by-products PLC.

Return to Archive 1

The Annual 2018

FREE!

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2018

Download PDF Version

Read online

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

Promo Image

Know Your Birds

Major General Barmy-Phipps Discusses Modern Day Bird Warfare

Promo Image

Lillywhite Lenny

They get awful jiggy, some of these horses.

Promo Image

Standard British Nuns

A spotters guide.

Promo Image

Why is Water Transparent?

Dr Leonard Skynard of the University of Applied Wallpapering in Reykjavik has the answer.

Promo Image

Galactic Phrasebook

Become fluent in Venusian!

Promo Image

Oven Chimps

Tasty and nutritious!

 

Teaching Carrots to FlyTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Latest blog entries...

22 December 2017: How to Look After Your Cement Mixer

21 December 2017: Evening Classes at The University of the Bleeding Obvious

20 December 2017: A Ding-Dong over Duvets