Just been handed a project but can't be bothered to get started?

What you need is Vapid, a new suite of procrastination software for business.

Project management bollocks

Vapid puts you in the driving seat of project management, allowing you to spend month after month planning your entire project in ever-increasing detail without ever having to actually knuckle down and get any work done.

Our unique approach means that you can continue to go round in circles without any danger of actually producing anything!

More project management bollocks

With Vapid you can develop a detailed process flow to accurately map each stage in the development of a project rationale underpinning the initial pre-assessment planning that forms the bedrock of the assessment, necessary to provide a firm foundation for the preliminary project development required before the formal project start date is scheduled.

And Vapid is great for generating vague SWOT analyses that look good but don't actually tell you anything.

Comes with more than 400 Gantt charts for you to colour in!

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Post Nuns

Nuns to be installed in post offices.

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Our members find that they are pillowried on message boreds and internet flora because of mispelings, the inappropriate erection of words, or bad grandma.

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Under new proposals, police officers will be equipped with X-ray vision.

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Did Man Really Go to Belgium?

All that stuff you saw at Mission Control was just for show

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